...we could've by-passed all the drama.

Well, the day after M was born his weight dropped to 6 lbs. 8 oz., which is completely normal for a newborn. What isn't normal is for them to lose more than 10% of their body weight. The third day of life his weight dropped to 6 lbs. 4.2 oz. The nurses were concerned at this point and had us start supplementing with formula since he obviously wasn't getting enough to eat...he was also dehydrated at this point. So I continued to try to breastfeed using all kinds of tricks to help us both along. The next day he dropped to 6 lbs. 1 oz. and they weren't sure if they were going to let him go home with us or not.

I was beyond terrified. Not only was I hormonal as heck, but the thought of my brand new baby having to stay over night in a place without me was just heartbreaking. I also felt a TON of guilt for not being able to provide enough nourishment for my baby. I know that it wasn't my fault, but you still can't help but feel that way. Brad was fantastic. He was so supportive and really helped pull me through. At one point I had a nurse trying to show me how to get M to latch on (with no luck) and a lactation consultant (who was a moron) talking to me about breastfeeding and the benefits (as if I didn't already know). M was screaming crying like someone was tearing his arm off and looking at me for help and I was crying the whole time because I couldn't help him. I finally just said "I don't think I can do this anymore. I don't want to." So the nurse stepped out and gave us a minute and the stupid lactation lady gave me a speech about the benefits and that "they" will support me with whatever I choose (like I care if they support me...I'll never see them again).

So we decided that it was in M and my best interest to bottle feed instead of breastfeed. I'm pumping breastmilk so that he gets those nutrients and antibodies, but I just can't handle the actual "art" of breastfeeding. Pumping is tiring, but I know it's best for him so that makes it easier to tolerate at 1am, 3am, 5am and 7am. We were going to supplement with formula if we needed to, but so far I'm producing enough to keep him covered. He's officially back up to his birth weight as of yesterday. So we're really pleased with that and proud of ourselves for making such a quick turnaround. :-)

He's just wonderful and we are soooo in love with him it's ridiculous. We both just sit and study him and watch his different facial expressions while he sleeps. He's so fascinating. Brad has to go back to work on Monday and I know it's going to kill him. Thank God I don't have to go back until September!