...maternity leave wouldn't end so soon.

I seriously don't know how ladies who only get 6 weeks do it. I know you make due with what you have, but I don't know how I could do less than the 12 I have. I go back 9/22 and it seems way too close for comfort! I look forward to the adult interaction again and my full paychecks! But at the same time it really makes my heart hurt to imagine someone else taking care of him all day. The lady he's going to stay with is great and I know he'll be totally fine. It's just not me. I don't want to see him get attached to someone else. I know it's selfish, but even though at times I would deny it, I LOVE being his favorite person. I wish Brad was equal in that case, but I don't want anyone else to give me a run for my money.

My little sweet pea is going to be spending most of his time with someone besides me and that really breaks my heart. Why do I have to be an equal money-maker (almost) in our household?! Ugh. Okay...crybaby session over.

...my little man wouldn't grow so fast!

Well, he has discovered his hands. Last night we were in the car and I looked back and his pacifier fell out right under his chin. He was using his hands to try to push it back in. When that didn't work he held them out and kind of looked at them as if to say "If these aren't for that then what the heck do I do with them?" It was really cute. Now I find him just sitting there looking at his hands and then putting them in his mouth. Very cute! He needs to slow down on the growing up...I'm pretty sure if I blink I'll miss something!

...people would judge people's character and not their color or status.

Politics came up at dinner last night. It was stated that McCain is too old. I couldn't agree more. He probably could've been a great President had he won the first time he ran in 2000. He's just too old for the job now, in my opinion. It was also said that Obama will be shot if he gets the job and that there are so many back-woods people that wouldn't stand for a black president. While I know there are a lot of people out there who feel this way it still just absolutely makes me sick. Regardless of your party affiliation, why focus on the color of his skin? The man is well-educated, successful and can sympathize with the American public. And to be fair he's really only part African-American. His mother was a white woman.

People are so ignorant that they believe all these FWD emails that come through talking about him being related to terrorists. Are you freaking kidding me? Because his middle name is Hussein they think he must be a terrorist. How stupid is that? Am I the only one who realizes how stupid that sounds? Hussein is a very common name in Africa and Middle Eastern countries. The fact that Americans focus on stupid crap like that just goes to show you why our country is in the state it's in. We're ignorant. We're arrogant. We're oblivious to the rest of the world unless our fearless leader sends our brothers, uncles, fathers, and cousins to them to kill people.

I'm really not sure where I'm going with this. I just get so angry hearing "We can't have a black president." Uhm...why not? Who gives a shit what color he is? Where in the constitution does it say that our president has to be white and a man? That's right. It doesn't because that's a stupid thing to think and people who think it are ignorant and racist. I guess that's what it's about. So many people think they aren't racist, but they are so dumb they don't realize that saying things like that IS racist. Assuming someone might be shifty because their middle name is of middle eastern decent IS racist.

It all makes me mad. I don't want my child to grow up around people who feel this way. I don't want him to think it's okay to believe that a man whose skin is a different color is somehow less of a man than him. I know that it's up to me to teach him these things and I will, but it sure makes my job harder when he'll grow up surrounded by ignorance everywhere but at home.

Okay, well, I'll quit bitching. Have a nice weekend.

Here's a new picture of M...in his Bumbo chair!

...my son wouldn't tease me.

So two glorious nights of sleeping through the night and just like that...it's over. Ugh. I knew it couldn't last...and that it was too good to be true. Now I wonder if it was something we did last night differently that caused the streak to end.

We went out to dinner last night and fed him while we were there, just like we did the night before. We came home and gave him a bath. Then wrapped him up in his Miracle Blanket and tried putting him to sleep. We would fall asleep and I'd lay him down and 20 minutes later he was up again. Finally we fed him again and he fell asleep again. Woke up so we fed him some more thinking he was still hungry (after changing his pee diaper) and he fell asleep after like a 1/4 ounce. He slept until about 3:45 and that was it. He had peed OUT of his diaper all over his Miracle Blanket, which presented a problem for Mommy b/c that's what makes him sleep so well...so now what?! Gonna have to invest in another one...one to wear and one to wash.

Anyway, I know I should be thrilled with just waking once at night for a 7 week old, but uninterrupted sleep is sooooooooooooo nice. I want it back! :-) Ah well, we'll just hope and pray for that wonderful phenomenon to return to us!

Here's a new photo. He's getting very good at holding up his head. It won't be long before he's "officially" holding up his head. :-)

...I would get this much sleep every night!

Well, M slept through the night for the first time. :-) He slept 7 hours once before, but it was not through the night and he ended up waking up in the middle anyway. Well, not last night! I put him down around 10:30 and he didn't wake until 6:45! Holy crap! I couldn't believe it! My little trooper slept through the night at just 6 weeks old!

So now that I've written this I'm sure it won't happen again until he's 15 years old...but I couldn't resist. I'm so proud of him! He is now dozing in his Bobby pillow. I swear I have the most adorable, amazing, genius child on the planet, but don't we all? :-) So keep your fingers crossed for another night of uninterrupted sleep!

...there wouldn't be so many options for so many things!

So as I change diaper after diaper I start to feel guilty about how long it's going to take them to biodegrade. I know, I sound like a tree-hugger. It's true though. I took out the garbage from the nursery (pee diapers only) and it was an entire bag FULL of them...and that was just from one week! Do you know how many that is? A TON! There's also that small detail called money. A pack of 36 diapers for this past weekend at the lake cost us $11. A larger pack is $20. You add that up over time and that's a TON of money too.

So gone are the days of cloth diapers with scary pins. They now have these awesome diapers that don't require a waterproof cover and you don't have to worry about sticking the baby with the pin when diapering him. They *look* super easy and very similar to the disposable ones, only you wash them in the washer. So B and I are thinking about switching over. We're doing our research now to see if it's something we're interested in.

It's a big investment up front, like $500. But that will last until he's potty-trained. These new, awesome diapers grow with the baby so you don't have to buy over and over again. Plus, we'd spend way more than that over time on disposables. The trouble is that there are so many different kinds...and so much to learn about how to clean them and take care of them. We can't decide if it's worth it or if we'd get sick of doing it after investing all the money.

Ugh. It's such a tough decision. One that we're going to chew on for a while. I think part of me feels like since I couldn't breastfeed him maybe I should do my part to take care of his world for when I'm gone. I don't know...maybe I'm crazy. Hell, we know I'm crazy...maybe I'm certifiable. :-)

New pic of M...after his bath when we got home from the lake. He was covered in sunscreen and sour milk that had drained down his neck and gotten on his hands. He smelled HORRID. He was sooooooooo happy to finally be clean!

...everyday would feel as amazing as 6/27/08.

So our close friends, Crum & Teresa, sent us a text message that told us Teresa was in the hospital being induced. I'm obviously excited because M and Deacon (their name last I heard) will only be 6 weeks apart. Well, I was very surprised at how all the emotions I felt the evening I was being induced came flooding back to me when I heard she was being induced. All the feelings of excitement, anticipation, being scared, knowing my life was going to change forever, and a bit of sadness that so many people we love weren't going to be there to share it (for one reason or another).

Then Crum let me know she was having a c-section because of a lack of progress. Then all those emotions flooded me. I felt the need to ease her nerves...although I couldn't b/c we're not there and nothing eases your nerves except hearing that baby cry. The c-section was the scariest thing I've ever had to go through and yet the most amazing 5 minutes of my life. I will never forget how I felt (and didn't feel) laying on that operating table. I couldn't stop the tears. I was overwhelmed with happiness, relief, and love. Seeing the look on B's face was worth all the hard work we went through up to that point.

I fell in love all over again with B and in love with M.

Oh and I have developed an obsession for photographing my little man. Here's the latest: