...I could make myself feel how I know I should.

So when I had M I assumed that seeing him in the arms of people I love would thrill me and I'd have the warm, fuzzy feelings. I don't. Don't get me wrong...I'm so happy that M is happy in other people's arms and that he loves his family (grandparents, aunts & uncles, etc.), but I just don't feel overwhelmed with joy like I thought that I would. I don't know why that is. I don't know if maybe in our efforts to get pregnant something has tripped in my brain and now I'm TOO attached to him or what. I'm happiest when he's in MY arms or B's of course.

I also don't want to be away from him. I already have to be away from him for 10 hours a day working...so when work is over I'm happy being with just M and B. We go out on dates alone, but not very often. We have sitters (ie., grandparents) ready and waiting basically, but we rarely use them. We have not spent a night away from him since he was born almost 9 months ago. I've only missed one bath/bedtime.

I know the grandparents think they should be watching him more, but I honestly just don't want to be away from him. He's my little miracle and when I'm with him I feel complete. In late May, the girls and I are planning a trip to Charleston, SC for a weekend of fun and silliness. That will be the first time I'm away from him. It's going to be really, really hard. At that point he'll almost be a year old...and I know B is obviously more than capable of taking care of him while I'm gone. So it should be fine, but it's still hard and I get a little anxious thinking about it already.

Am I crazy to feel this way? Is it going to make me a crazy mother-in-law? I'm doing my best to recognize how I feel and deal with it and do what I know is right, but it's tough!

But a little tip to anyone who thinks they should be watching our baby more...don't bitch. It just makes me mad. You'll watch him when we're ready and not a moment sooner whether it's normal, crazy, or whatever else you might call it. That's how we roll.

...my little man would be littler!

He's growing so dang fast! It's literally like I blinked and now he's 8.5 months old! He now officially has 2 top teeth...they're not visible unless you look for them, but you can hear him grinding them ALREADY! I'll try to get a picture of them soon.

He's taking a bath minus his infant tub...so he's sitting in the water all alone. He looks freakin' adorable and he loves it. Here are some pictures of him in all his glory!

...things are pretty boring right now. :-)

Well, we're still teething, but we appear to be in a calm before the storm if you will. :-) The last two days have been glorious. Brad is working the Home Garden & Remodeling Show this weekend so I'll be a single parent for all intensive purposes. So that should be interesting.

Well, what has happend since I last wrote? Well, M called 911 on my cellphone. That was nice. I was mortified of course, but I politely apologized to the dispatcher, who was VERY kind I might add, and hung up. He was chewing on my locked phone and I wasn't aware that even when locked you can dial Emergency Services. So if you didn't know that either...now you do!

I'm getting an iPhone! I've resisted the trend for long enough. Those things are amazing. Will I use it? Who knows...we'll see. Everyone I've talked to says yes I will...so I'll try it for two years and if I don't like it or feel it's necessary I'll downgrade. No biggie.

M's Uncle Nic has returned safely to US soil. He is "home" in O'ahu and has so far had mostly 1/2 days of work or less...so that sounds PRETTY nice to me. He should be home in May at some point and we're planning a big bash for his "homecoming". It should be lots of fun. I'm sooooooo anxious for him to meet M. I mean I daydream about it. It will be like introducing him the day he was born all over again and that was such a proud day. So combine that with the return of my brave soldier...what a great day it will be. :-)

Alright, I've blabbed enough. I need to do this more often so you can read less more frequently! Below is a video montage of M. Enjoy the cracked out music. :-) It makes me laugh and I hope it does you too. haha.

...teeth would magically appear.

Unfortunately that's not how it happens. Poor little M has been teething or working on his top teeth for what feels like an eternity. Drooling gobs, fussiness off and on, the works. Tonight, of course the night Brad's at the National Truck/Tractor Pull, M was Mr. Fussypants. He fussed, fidgeted, fussed, thrashed about, fussed, screamed, cried, fussed, thrashed about, oh and did I mention fussed? Bless his heart. He was a pitiful mess. The poor dogs got ousted to their crates because I thought I was going to throw myself into the wind outside and let it carry me away (as if it could lift this big ass!). Luckily...M calmed down after his bath with Mommy and another dose of tylenol/orajel. He's sleeping peacefully for the moment.

Today has been a big day for him though. I went to Cincinnati with someone who is using our fertility doc and M got to meet Dr. Scheiber...the man who made his life possible. He met his maker if you will. :-) Of course he commented on how he's "all boy" and a rough-lookin' guy (meaning how hefty he is). I was very proud, as I always am when showing off my little man. Because I was going to Cincy I took the day off today and got to spend the whole day with M. It was nice even though he was Fussy McFusserton.

I'm now enjoying some cold pizza that I didn't get a chance to enjoy earlier. :-) Yummy cold pizza!

PS-Here's a picture (albeit a horrible one) of my hair. I'm learning to fix it...I'm getting better every day.

...I could listen to this all day.

Oh wait...I can thanks to my blog! :-) Enjoy our little man!

Well, I’ve been designing some ads on my own for work. Just some fun ads that are more creative than what we normally run. I created the set of ads in September of 2007. I’ve asked to run them several times and it’s so expensive to run full color ads that the President has been resistant. Well, with Valentine’s Day coming up, I asked him to let me run my “Gumdrop” ad. He said that we could discuss it. Before going in to discuss it with him I changed it around a bit from full color to spot color. So the ad instead of having all colored gumdrops only the red ones are showing with the rest black and white.

I took it in to him and he immediately approved it!!!! So I’m finally being published! What a great day! I’m so excited. It might not sound like a lot to some people, but I’ve been pushing this ad for over 2 years now and it’s finally being used. I also have had a hard time, as you know, coming back to work after M was born. So this makes me feel like I’m at least being used for what I’m good for. At least one of my degrees is paying off!

Here is the ad for your viewing pleasure!

...I could easily be the girl I was.

Somewhere along the line I’ve become someone I’m not. I don’t know when it happened or how it happened for that matter. I’ve always been confident, at least outwardly, and never really cared what other people think of me and how I look. For some reason at some point that changed and I’ve been trying fit into the mold of what I thought a 20 something girl was supposed to look like. In trying to fit into that mold, I’m finding that I’m unhappy with myself.

This is not who I am. I’m the girl who marches to her own tune. I’m the girl who is comfortable in striped socks and ballet flats. I’m the girl who wears clothes because they’re comfortable and make her feel beautiful, not because it’s what Ann Taylor said was perfect for “my” body type. I want to be the girl I used to be again. I want to be happy with myself and who I am.

So in an effort to start down that road to rediscovery, I’m getting my hair did. I’m having a hard time deciding what to do though. I am so BAD, or pathetic rather, at “fixing” my hair. I blow dry it every morning. If necessary I’ll flat iron some parts of it. I can use straightening gel, or styling gel, but only minimally…unless specifically taught HOW to do it. I know, I’m a poor excuse for a girl…but that’s me. J

So what I think I’m looking for in a hairdo is simple, messy, short (not a lot for M to get his pinchers into, but not super short either). My hair has a LOT of curl underneath in the back, but the rest is stick-straight. It is also EXTREMELY thick. Like ridiculous thick…constantly having to be thinned just to be tolerable!

So please vote for one of the options below…OR email me to send me a picture you think would look good on me so I can take it to my hair lady and get it done.

1.) Alice Cullen from Twilight (Probably a little longer than this and maybe no bangs.)

2.) Mandy Moore (I'm not sure I could pull this off without it looking flat.)

3.) Julie Stiles