In my world...

...I'd be less paranoid.

2010-03-16T10:19:00.003-04:00

But alas, I'm not. I'm a scaredy-cat.

So going forward I'm not using this blog. If you want the URL to the new blog please email me at emiannie@yahoo.com and I'll send you the link.

Sorry for any confusion.

...whoever thought of daylight savings time would get smacked.

2010-03-15T19:46:00.002-04:00

Oh. My. God.

The time change has really jacked up Miles' schedule. I had to wake him up this morning from a dead sleep. This evening when we got home he was exhausted and MEAN AS A SNAKE.

Mommy: Miles, do you want tuna for dinner? (as Miles is picking at the tuna)

Miles: NO! (begins the hysterics)

Mommy: How about some yogurt? (always a favorite)

Miles: Noooooooooooo! (swats mommy's hand away)

Mommy: How about some milk? You want some milk in your cuppie? (he adds "ie" to everything these days)

Miles: AHHHHHH!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!! NOOOOOO CUPPIE!!!!!!

For the love of God. Terrible twos are upon us OR he's tired. It's a toss-up really. Either way, he is possessed by something resembling the devil every evening. In an ironic turn though, he loves getting in the "bubbas" at bath time to play in the bubbles. He hated it before the devil took over. Guess the devil likes being clean...

He's adjusted to daycare pretty well. He doesn't cry when Brad drops him off anymore. He is distracted by fake birds that he thinks may or may not swoop down and get him. BUT it works. No more tears except when Mommy drops him off...the water works start when we pull in the driveway.

I was thinking again about having another baby. I want one. Brad is on board, I'm pretty sure or he will be by the time we can afford to send two to daycare (2013). I'd like a girl and then I'd like to be done with my uterus and ovaries entirely. I was looking at my work short-term disability plan. By the time all that happens, I'll get 6 months maternity leave 75% paid! That's freaking awesome. So now we just wait and enjoy Mileser until we're ready for #2!

Recent developments:

1.) Miles loves tuna, veggie burgers, and beeps (Peeps)

2.) He says "yah!" and "nope/no" all the time now at the appropriate times.

3.) He loves to dance and sing.

4.) He is going to be a forced to be reckoned with when summer gets here. It will be a battle to the death to get him inside for dinner/bath/bed.

Hope you're warm and happy!!

...it would be spring already!

2010-03-06T14:28:00.013-05:00

It was so beautiful outside today and supposed to be more beautiful tomorrow! So Miles and I headed to Cracker Barrel for lunch/breakfast. He had pancakes and ate all my "eggies". He was hungry! He insisted that I put syrup on his pancakes, despite my trying to get out of it. But then once he had the syrup he refused to eat until I gave him a fork so his hands wouldn't get dirty. What. A. Stinker! God I love this kid!

Then after we ate (stayed clean didn't even need to wipe him down!) we went to the playground at the park for a little "photoshoot" with Mama. :-) I'm trying to get my skills honed for him and new baby Katie-bug (debuting in 3 months). Plus, if I hone my skills and show Brad I'm good maybe we could justify buying a digital SLR of our own instead of borrowing our parents'. :-)

So here are some of the photos. What do you think?

...his ears would be as perfect as he is.

2010-03-03T14:09:00.002-05:00

Too bad they aren't. Looks like Miles is going to have tubes put in. After seemingly endless ear infections we met with an ENT (ear, nose, throat doc) this morning. After examining him he recommended that Miles would be a good candidate for tubes. So Brad and I are going to research it tonight, although we know we're going to do it, and decide when we want to do it. Then tomorrow I'll call the surgery coordinator and get him scheduled. It's surgery, he'll be under anesthesia, but it's gas so he won't need an IV or anything. I just hope it solves his problems with his ears.

Tomorrow is Brad's birthday. I can't decide what to cook him for dinner. I've got his present from me and I think I'm going to let Miles pick him something out on our way home tomorrow. :-) I think Brad would enjoy that special thing from Miles.

Funny/interesting things Miles has been doing:

- He learned to jump from his chair. So he does it over and over again, always making sure either Mommy or Daddy is "votching". :-)

- He asks for a fork with every meal only it sounds like he's asking for a "fu_k".

- He will tell you how a lion "goes" by roaring at you and acting like he's going to claw your eyes out.

- He runs everywhere, skips from time to time, and rolls around in the floor.

- He loves to play with Macy. Mainly try to run her over with his little electric car and his lawn mowers. He thinks it's HILARIOUS when she jumps out of the way.

- He loves Imagination Movers on Disney Channel. I turned on the TV this past Saturday and it was some other show and he cried that he wanted the "magins!"

- He likes to ride the escalator at the mall with Poppy.

- He loves to cook with Ganny (always has).

- He loves to play in the garage with Papa.

- He loves that Gramma always has apples, "unjes" (oranges), and "banas" (bananas).

- He's saying tons of words. Too many really to list.

- He is an incredible communicator. Brad and I are so lucky that we rarely have to figure out what he wants. He tells us exactly what he wants.

That's all for now. :-)

...I'd be a better blogger.

2010-02-22T16:23:00.005-05:00

But life just keeps getting in the way!

Last week was wild for us. We started our new daycare. The first day was a half day thanks to Mother Nature. So we kind of broke him in. The second day was a full day and he did okay...not a lot of crying, but only napped like 20 minutes. The next days were the same amount of crying, but he did take his normal 2 hour naps. I had to speak with the director about a couple of things that were bugging me. She handled them and we're all set. So now we just have to get through this week. Then his pal, Will, starts there Monday. He's doing okay though.

We took him to Build-A-Bear the weekend before he started there. We let him pick out his own bear and help stuff him and everything. We named him "Happy" because that was the most recent word Miles had been saying and it's a pleasant word so we found it fitting. He loves him! Happy sleeps at school...so Miles looks for him in the mornings when he gets to school.

This past weekend we were eating steak for dinner, Brad having a ribeye and I was having a tuna steak (my fave!). Miles hates anything beef. He saw me eating my tuna and asked for "some". So I gave him a bite and he kind of had to think about it at first, but then chowed down. He asked for more and we gave him a bite of Brad's ribeye, which he tasted and immediately said "away" to get me to take it away and then asked for more of my tuna. The kid ate HALF of my steak! I was so tickled! Refuses a steak, but will eat tuna. :-) Definitely MY child! haha.

We were at Brad's parents' house Sunday and Robert had my car in the garage checking my brake pads and Miles' friend Will, who is starting at Miles' new school Monday, stopped by on his walk with his Mom. She let him out of his stroller and Miles led him to the garage. He patted Robert to get his attention and turned said "Will" and then turned to Will and said "Papa". Seriously?! He's not even 2 and he introduced his friend to Robert. Where on Earth did this kid come from?! He amazes us everyday with something new.

Here he is with his new "bockpock", which is as big as he is. Plenty of room to grow into it.

...I could know our next child will be this wonderful.

2010-02-11T08:47:00.003-05:00

Brad and I are still on the fence about whether to try to have another baby one day. We probably will, but there are a lot of stars that need to align just right before that happens. One thing we worry about though is that baby #2 will not be as perfect as Miles. I know I say it all the time, but this kid is just amazing. He's smart, he's cute, he's funny, he doesn't like to be dirty, he is loving, and he is well-behaved. How did we hit the jackpot and really can you hit it twice?

Take yesterday for instance. It was snow day #2 for this week. I took him with me to work for an hour or so. I couldn't get much done so we left, but while we were there he was great. No screaming, no tantrums...just the model child. We left and I had the worst headache. I took some advil, which just upset my stomach. I thought I was going to barf everywhere on the drive home. We got home and I got him a snack and then I told him I didn't feel well and I needed to lay down. He patted me on the head and went off to play. He played while I laid on the couch with my eyes closed for an hour. He never got into anything he shouldn't. He played with his toys and climbed up to show me stuff and climbed back down. He got into his bag of rice cakes, but he only got one for each hand...he didn't dump the whole bag out like he'd been asking to do earlier that morning.

It was just what I needed. I felt good enough after that hour to go get us some lunch and eat with him. Then he was sleepy so we snuggled and he played with my hair and we fell asleep on the couch for 2 hours. Seriously...how many people can say their child responded with that level of care for their mama at 20 months? He was amazing. Never cried once. Played so well before and after nap. He was just perfect.

I'm terrified that our next kiddo won't be as perfect and I won't love him/her as much because they're not "perfect". I can't imagine a kid better than Miles. I don't want to be that parent who favors one child over another. I've seen what that does to a kid (even as an adult) and it's not pretty. I know, I know...the next kiddo could be just as good or even better. I just can't imagine it.

Don't worry it won't stop us. We'll have another one if we decide we want to. But how do you beat perfection?

Here's a picture of him sleeping in the chair on our first snowday after lunch. He insisted on wearing his monster feet instead of normal shoes. :-)

...I could bottle up this cuteness for later.

2010-02-08T10:07:00.002-05:00

Seriously! He gets cuter by the day and I don't just mean his looks. He is such a little character. I sang him "The Supermarket Song" written by his Uncle Nic many moons ago the other day, but I added a little bit of hard rock flare to it and Miles was headbanging to it. It was so stinkin' cute. And no, Mommy did not show him how to headbang. Apparently it comes naturally to him. :-)

Here he is this morning getting ready to go see Sara and Izzy, his favorite teacher and his best gal-pal. :-)

...we would never stop experiencing new things with Miles.

2010-02-04T11:09:00.003-05:00

I swear seeing Miles experience new things never gets old. It's like Christmas everytime we get to do something new with him. There are so many awesome things for us to do with him and I can't wait to do them all!

Last weekend we had a bit of snow so Miles finally got to try out his sled that Granny and Poppy (my Mom and Dad) got him. He was ready to go sledding before we went outside!

But when we got out there he was a little less impressed with the cold, wet snow and sledding experience. But here is a video for your viewing pleasure. In the first one he's by himself on his sled. In the second he's on my lap on a tube with Bandit (Shera's Huskie) pulling us down the hill. Again, not impressed. :-) He spent the rest of the sledding adventure in the car eating cookies where it was warm.

...all kids would grow up to be this generous.

2010-01-29T20:25:00.003-05:00

A friend of mine from a message board I've been on for the past 4 years has the most awesome nieces and nephews. Her sister, Missy, has 5 kids and they are a hoot. I read her blog regularly. Anyway, her older kids (3, 5, & 7) have decided that they need to do something for the people of Haiti. So they have decided to do a hot chocolate stand (in Minnesota!!). They're going to open the stand this week sometime, but like any successful endeavor lots of planning and advertising is necessary. So they asked their auntie, Rachel, to plug it on her blog, where I saw it. It's going to be called "Hot Chocolate for Haiti".

So if you don't live in Minnesota, and I'm guessing you don't since you're probably my friends and family and most of you are in the great state of Kentucky...you can still donate to their cause! When Auntie Rachel asked Ella how much they would like to raise she thought about it for a minute and said "Uhm $10 would be good." :-) So the more they make the more this lesson will teach them that they can accomplish more than they even dream sometimes! Plus, they'll be helping some people who really, really need it right now.

So go here to read about the details and learn a little bit about Ella, Tate, and Tucker.

...everyone would be this smooth.

2010-01-26T11:40:00.002-05:00

My kid is absolutely, without a doubt, the hippest kid on Earth. :-) He digs old school rap and other great tunes as well. Hell, he likes music PERIOD. But here's a little taste of his wicked chair dancing moves. Enjoy!

...I could do this for a living.

2010-01-21T12:34:00.002-05:00

So I love taking photos. I especially love my little man as a subject. :-) I don't get to take as many as I'd like. It's either too dark or he's too mobile! But I did manage to snap a super cute one of him in his UK sweatshirt. The kid just looks damn good in blue! (with a little help from Photoshop-OK a lot of help-his eyes really pop!)

...everyone could sympathize with others.

2010-01-14T13:05:00.002-05:00

Last night on American Idol, yes I still watch it, there was a girl from small-town Tennessee auditioning. It gave some of her back-story. She is very poor. Admitted that she has no life. Never goes to the movies, never shops, never does anything fun except bridge jumping which is free obviously. She had terrible teeth, probably from years of no dental insurance or a way to pay for dental care. She was just as sweet as she can be. She had just bought a dress, the first one she owned (or so she said) and it cost her a whopping $4.50.

She came into the audition room and I'm sure the judges were immediately put off by her because her appearance isn't normally what makes it through. She was SO nervous. You read it in her body language. She performed a song I love, and she did great. Not amazing, not AI winner-worthy, but way better than even I expected.

She made it to Hollywood.

She jumped for joy! She cried. She couldn't believe it. She was absolutely over the moon excited! She was tickled pink that she was going to get to go to Hollywood and ride on an "Air-o-plane".

This is where the excitement stopped for me. Not because she didn't say airplane right, but because when I went on Facebook to post about how I was crying because I was so excited for this girl and I saw that soooooo many of my friends were making fun of her. Not just one, not just a couple...many.

My heart broke. As someone who grew up in an area that had many, many people like her I found that I guess I could sympathize with her more than most. She was sweet. She was only looking for her one big break, whether or not she succeeds, she was thrilled to have just made it to Hollywood.

To someone who is poor and can't afford to eat some days, nor take a shower daily because they can't pay their water bill if they do, a trip to Hollywood on an air-o-plane is a once in a lifetime opportunity! She didn't care if she wins. She just was happy to be getting out of Vonore, TN even if only for a couple of days.

I know a lot of my friends think they know what "poor" is. They see a homeless person and think they understand, but they don't. The poor I've witnessed is wearing dirty clothes with holes in them because you can't afford better or to wash them. Eating at school only because your parents can't afford dinner. Telling your kids there won't be much for Christmas this year...again because Dad left and Mom is still sick. People in this area don't understand that. They've never witnessed "poor". To them poor is someone who wears clothes from Walmart instead of Gap or Abercrombie. That ain't poor, folks...that's not spoiled.

Anyway, it made me irrationally sad and angry that people were making fun of this girl. My heart is still broken for her and yet I'm elated that she's getting her "big break".

Good luck, lady! Make the most of it!

...full work weeks would consist of 3 days.

2010-01-04T12:30:00.002-05:00

Too bad I live in a world where that's just not the case except during the holiday season. Christmas and New Year's have come and gone. Here we are back to the daily grind and I've yet to post anything! Eek! I'm being a BAD blogger.

So Christmas for Brad and I this year was the best yet. Like, literally since we've been together every year has been a struggle for us and one side or the other was always unhappy or we were constantly watching the clock. This year, none of that! A good time was had by all and no one had to watch the clock or worry about getting to "the other side". It was wonderful! I can honestly say that I enjoyed every single minute of my Christmas break.

New Year's Eve/Day were boring for us, but that's how we like it. We did a bit of shopping New Year's Eve with Popp and came home and played Mario Kart on the Wii, made a pot of chili, bought a heater for our basement so I can finally sit down there comfortably without 4 blankets on me. Then we watched a movie and played some more Mario Kart after Doodle went to bed. It was great. Very relaxing and chill.

So I've decided to do two things in 2010. For one, I'm going to try to be more active. When spring arrives Brad and I are going to start taking evening jogs with Miles in the stroller. Starting now I'm trying to make better decisions with my diet and what I put in my mouth. No more sweet tea for me! (I know it makes me want to cry!) The other thing is that I'm going to try to be a better wife and mother. Brad is so amazing and I find that I take him for granted a lot. I plan to try to do more for him and thank him more often for all that he does instead of picking on what he isn't doing. As for the mother part, I'm going to try to work on my patience and play a lot more. I play a lot already, but really when you're 1-2 there's never enough playing going on!

So that's that. :-) Below is a video of the man on Christmas morning that I thought was cute. I'll try to post some more pictures tonight or tomorrow. Happy new year everyone! May it be better than the last!

...it would already be Christmas morning!

2009-12-21T13:52:00.002-05:00

I can't even try to deny how excited I am for Christmas this year! Miles will actually enjoy all of his toys. He'll get tons of them (from what I've heard anyway and I haven't even heard about ALL of them!). We've got Christmas worked out so that both sides of the family seem happy and did so without any guilt from either side. It's great and quite a welcomed change for Brad and I.

Christmas Eve will be the Conley Christmas, complete with Papaw, a standing rib roast, lots of toys and I'm guessing lots of laughter. Then Christmas morning Brad and I will get up and see what Santa brought for Miles. Play with some toys and eat some breakfast. Then we'll head over to the Clark's for the afternoon and dinner.

Miles has been fighting a bit of a cough that I'm watching. I'm hoping and praying so hard it's not worse than just a cough. RSV is running rampant and while it's not as dangerous for him as it would be a teeny baby, it's still no fun to be sick. So keep your fingers crossed that he fights it off. I swear to God he can't stay healthy. He was happy and healthy for like 3 days. Now he's got a damn cold. We can't win! But he has been pretty happy despite the cough. So that's good. :-)

Alright, I'm signing off (probably) until after Christmas. Don't worry, I'm charging my video camera batteries and preparing the point-n-shoot camera for action!

Happy Holidays everyone! I hope you're warm, happy and surrounded by friends/family.

...we would all be happy regardless of what holiday we're celebrating.

2009-12-16T15:13:00.006-05:00

I am so sick to death of hearing people complain about when people tell them “Happy Holidays”. (No this is not directed at anyone in particular, just Americans in general.) Is it really that hard to graciously say “Merry Christmas” back to someone who tells you “Happy Holidays”? At least they’re not telling you to go to hell. They’re trying to be kind to you and trying not to offend anyone in the process. Is “Jesus the reason for the season”? Perhaps for you, but not for everyone.

It’s amazing to me how many people that claim to be Christian people are so concerned with putting the “christ” back in Christmas when really if they’d just quit their complaining they could focus on the spirit of Christmas. Christmas is supposed to be a time of giving, caring, hope, joy and peace. Remember that piece about the angels and the birth of Christ…I believe they said “Peace on Earth, goodwill toward man”. Uhm, let’s bring that back. I think those angels had something there. I don’t believe they were talking about only people who celebrate Christmas when they said that.

How about we all just be happy to be alive and be comfortable enough with our own faith that we recognize how dumb a “Holiday Tree” is without having to make a spectacle of ourselves? Or we understand that having a Santa in your Nativity scene is just plain silly? Let’s take a look on the bright side of things: We live in a country where we can worship whoever, whatever, however, and basically whenever we want. We have freedom, thanks to my brother and brave souls like him and of course our forefathers who were thinking way ahead of their time with those clever “Freedom of Religion”, “Freedom of Speech”, and all those other lovely freedoms we enjoy everyday.

So people, I beg of you, please…in the spirit of Christmas please feel free to celebrate whatever you want, however you want. Just please do so with a smile on your face and a little tolerance for others.

With that said, here are a few fun pictures from our Christmas festivities. We went to the Louisville Stoneware Company and painted pottery with our former neighbors and good friends, the Macy family. We also made/decorated cookies Sunday for the first time with Miles. He enjoyed it a great deal as you can tell from the pictures.

...I can read minds.

2009-11-30T20:26:00.003-05:00

Too bad I can't! If I could read minds, I would know what the hell crawled up Miles' arse tonight. He was soooooo cranky! He was fine when I got to Shirley's to pick him up, but he did NOT want to put his jacket on. He did NOT want to go out to the car. He pretty much screamed the entire way home. He refused cookies, his drink, a ball, a Nuk, and a blankey. It was awful. Thankfully we don't live far from Shirley's house.

So we get home and he refuses to let me put him down. I did put him down (kicking and screaming) long enough to take my coat off. Then he pulled at my legs until I picked him back up. I handed him to Brad so I could pee and he screamed the entire time. We put him in his highchair (while screaming) to get him to eat some dinner because he said he was hungry. He ate like 3 bites of his grilled cheese, but only to get Brad to make his dancing Santa sing and dance. Then he said he was done and refused to eat anymore so we put him down. He then ate about 60 grapes (I'm exaggerating, but it was a LOT).

I got in the floor and let him ram me and that was entertaining for him for about 30 seconds. So 7pm arrived (his usual bedtime is between 7:15-7:30) so we asked him if he wanted to take a bath. He adamantly said yes so we took him in and put him in the bath. He wouldn't sit down. He let me wash him while he fiddled around with the faucet. He usually doesn't mind getting hair rinsed, but tonight you would've thought I was pouring acid on him. IT WAS AWFUL.

I hate when he feels bad and he never acts like this unless he's not feeling well. So I'd bet money that he will have some new teeth in the very near future. All WE want for Christmas is his canine teeth! :-)

Here are some Christmas pics I took of him in an effort to get a good shot for our Christmas card. I got one, but it's none of these. Enjoy!

...my child would not be so literal.

2009-11-24T09:02:00.002-05:00

So last night, as usual, I asked Miles if he wanted to pee on the potty. We know he's probably too young to really get it, but we figure it can't hurt to familiarize him with it now. So we let him sit on it and act like he's going to the potty. He has never peed on the potty nor has he pooped on the potty.

So back to last night. I stripped him down for his bath and sat him on his big boy potty. He sat there for a second, kind of looked around and got up. He walked over to the side of the grown-up potty where the garbage can is and picked it up and carried it to the front of the potty. He then walked back over to the side of the potty, turned and peed ON the potty. :-)

So ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Literal Magoo did in fact pee ON THE POTTY last night...just not in the manner we had intended. :-) But Brad and I took it as a victory toward future potty-training. So YAY for peeing ON the potty!!

...my little turkey wouldn't be sick.

2009-11-20T09:54:00.003-05:00

Well, he's got another ear infection plus he's working on those dang canine teeth. So he's been a bear the last few evenings. I'm starting to think he's just sick of me and Brad. :-)

We're all moved in. We painted Miles' room a bright green...a little brighter than John Deere green actually. Catherine (Aunt Kitty) is coming to help me paint the blue stripes on his walls this weekend. So that should be fun. I'll post pictures when we're done. Brad MADE our table for the kitchen. :-) He decided he wanted a butcher block top table in there. But they're way too expensive for what we're willing to spend. So he got on ebay and worked his little fingers to the bone finding a table top that looks AWESOME in the kitchen. Then he ran to Lowes and bought legs and stained them black. It looks so good. I'm so proud of him! I'll post pictures tonight. We got the chairs for it yesterday and now the kitchen looks complete, well minus curtains. haha!

Since it's getting close to Thanksgiving (can you believe that?!) I thought it would be timely for me to post a video of Miles doing his turkey impression that his magnificent sitter taught him. It's oh so cute and you'll want to watch it again and again. :-) Enjoy!

...I would have more sick days.

2009-10-21T13:56:00.002-04:00

Well, I have something. I feel like crappola. My body hurts like hell and my head is killing me. I went to the doc this morning and got my brain scratched by the little swab thing to see if I have the flu. No flu...just something trying to invade my bod. I'm guessing my immune system is down from all of the stress of the move. So I'm home resting trying to let my body get back on track.

So the latest on the move. Our loan isn't ready to close and neither is our new house. The buyers of our house however have decided (without checking with us) that we're closing Friday and they're moving in Saturday morning. We tried explaining that Brad will be out of town and I will be by myself with a 16 month old, but these asshats don't care. So we've had to hire movers and get a power of attorney so that I can sign for Brad (both unexpected expenses, neither of which the buyers were willing to foot the bill for). Luckily, our realtor (remember I told you she was great!) is footing the bill for the POA and kicking in $200 for movers.

The builders of the new house have agreed to let us move our stuff into the garage Friday. If they have certificate of occupancy by Friday we can tell the movers where we want stuff, but not live there until we close. There is a super, super slim chance we could still close Friday on the new house, which would be phenomenal, but I'm not holding my breath. So the plan is to move the stuff into the garage/house Friday and Miles and I will shack up with my parents until we can hopefully close on Monday.

So at this point I would like to say how amazing our families are. Brad's Dad is taking off work Friday to oversee the movers for me. Brad's parents are coming over tonight to watch Miles (well make sure he stays asleep!) while we do our walk-through on the new house. My parents are coming out tomorrow evening to help me finish packing up whatever is left. Then they're going to let me and my little guy crash there this weekend. They've all offered countless times to do whatever we need them to do. We are sooooooo fortunate to have families who want to help us and care about our stress levels. :-) So thanks Mom & Dad and Robert & Laurie. We could make it without you, but it would nearly kill us! We love you.

...marinara sauce would make great hair gel.

2009-10-18T20:21:00.002-04:00

But the reality of the matter is that it just makes bath time a rough time for everyone! Oh and it makes for great videos! :-)

Enjoy! Miles certainly did. :-)

...someone would flippin' do their job!

2009-10-16T20:23:00.001-04:00

Our realtor is great. She really is. Hell, she sold our house in 6 days! But I need for people to be on their A game when we're 9 days away from our hopeful closing date! I should not be emailing realtors myself to find stuff out...she should do that for me...but she's not fast enough for me. Boo! So I just do it myself. You know what they say..."If you want something done right, do it yourself."

We stopped by the house tonight to see the progress. It was totally painted. They said they'd be finished tomorrow. Then the lights guy wad coming into install the lights and then the carpet. So it's looking like middle of next week for the house being done. Walk-through on Friday while Brad's out of town (yay!). Then closing on Monday. Shew! I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

Maybe I'll just hijack a helium balloon aircraft...

-- Post From My iPhone

...hot cocoa would be available intravenously.

2009-10-15T11:11:00.002-04:00

But alas, here I sit drinking mine from a dang mug. :-) It's still good though! It'd be better if I were home in my sweats and had some marshmallow creme...but we can't have everything right?

So the move gets closer and closer everyday. We had company pictures today at work and I had ONE option for pictures because I've packed all my clothes that I don't normally wear (all my fancy-pants, professional attire) and left out only the comfy stuff I can get away with (khakis, fairly dressy shirts, etc.) I called today on our fridge and it came in yesterday...so it's ready for delivery! Yay! I'm calling the utility companies today to see what we need to do to get it switched and ready for when we move in and also what to do about budget billing (basically if we're going to owe them or they'll owe us). Brad called the cable people already because God knows I can't miss my One Tree Hill on Monday night. :-)

Also, I decided that I'm being too freaked out about not using Miles' name. I think I'm panicking for nothing. So going forward this will be a normal blog like it used to before I got all crazy freaked out. Yay normalcy!

Alright, we'll keep you posted about all the other stuff. :-) Oh and the sitter thing...fine and dandy like sour candy!

...our daredevil would not also be a monkey.

2009-10-13T14:36:00.003-04:00

Brad is home with M today due to some sitter issues (not related to him, but she needed a personal day). He called me to ask if I would like to know what MY son did. :-) Of course I did!

He said he was sitting in the playroom watching TV and the door was open so M was free to roam around. He said he went into the kitchen and was in there for a while, but he could hear him moving around and stuff and nothing sounded alarming. Then M started kind of fussing and whining so Brad got up and went into the kitchen to see what was the matter. At this point I was assuming he had gotten into the big cabinet and not been able to get out.

No. If only that's what it was.

M had climbed up INTO his highchair! It's not called a "high" chair for nothin' people! I have NO idea how he did it! He can't even climb up onto the couch...much less scale the chair to get into his highchair. And oh my, how he even got turned around to sit in it without breaking his head open!?

So I believe we're on the brink of a toddler bed with rails rather than a crib. That's all we need is for him to go flying out of his crib. Ugh.

Below is a picture of him in his highchair to give you some perspective of how high it is. Oh. My.

...my little monster would stay little.

2009-10-10T21:47:00.006-04:00

He is so darn cute at this age! It's ridiculous really. I could eat him up. He's playful, funny, and so darn snuggly!

We took him to the Louisville Zoo tonight with his G-Paw and Grandma and Auntie S. We had a great time! He could've cared less. He liked his costume and he LOVED the candy corns I gave him (duh! Pure sugar!), but the rest of it he could take it or leave it. We got some super cute pictures of him though! I have a cute video, but it's too big to put o

n here without some editing...so I'll do that in a couple of days.

Here's our little monster!

...I'd have video of him talking.

2009-10-06T21:28:00.002-04:00

Unfortunately I haven't caught any video of him talking. He is quite the chatterbox these days. :-) He can consistently say "Bye-bye", "Mom", "Dad", "Dog", "Bubble", "More" (although it sounds more like "moe"). He has a few variations of words too. He says "Bobo" for spoon. Why? I have no idea, but he says the same thing for it every time he wants it.

Tonight I was on the phone with Catherine, his Aunt Kitty, and as I was hanging up with her I said "Bye" and he started chanting "Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye..." It was so stinkin' cute!

Also this evening when I was picking him up at the sitter's house she had her daughter (in high school) and her daughter's friend at her house. He was watching a Baby Einstein video and was showing off like crazy! It was adorable. He was walking around showing his belly, laughing, clapping and bouncing up and down and looking at them and SMILING like a little stud. He was adorable! I stayed around for probably 10 minutes just to watch him do his thang. He is going to be a real heartbreaker one day...I just hope it's never mine. :-)

So that's the latest.

Oh and we're getting closer to owning a new home! We should close in about two weeks (if everything goes our way). We'll keep you posted.

...he would look this cute in everything he wears.

2009-09-26T14:34:00.002-04:00

So I got M's costume today. I was going to get it at Babies-R-Us and they didn't have his size. So I went to Children's Place to buy him some jeans and saw theirs.

So. Stinking. Cute.

And to make them EVEN cuter, they were on sale for $16! So here he is in his costume, which he seems to really like. It came with little monster shoes too...but I didn't try those yet.

...things would be simple.

2009-09-25T15:56:00.004-04:00

But really, what fun would that be? :-) We put our house on the market (officially on the listing sites) last Thursday. It sold Wednesday! The catch? The buyers want us out in 20-30 days.

Oh. My. Gosh.

So luckily we had already been looking at houses and had one in mind. We put an offer on it last night (after much stress). They countered, of course, although our offer was generous. So we countered $500 more and thanks to our lovely realtor sacrificing a bonus attached to the house we got it! So we will be moving into a new (and improved over our current house) before October 25!

We're not sure how it's going to work though. Brad is out of town that weekend of October 25. But they're finishing out the basement so we're not sure if we can get in before then. So I feel there is still a bit of stress to come. But that's the story of buying a house right?

Here she is:

...we would all be safe from crazies.

2009-09-22T15:08:00.003-04:00

However, that is not the case unfortunately. I had the blog locked down, as you all know, but I've reopened it. It was not only a pain in the ass for you to log in and view the blog, it was a pain in the ass for me too because I had to do the same thing.

So it's open. There will be no use of last names going forward. I will also refer to little man simply as M. I'm going to go back and edit the previous posts. I suppose as my job as Mama I'll be teaching him about strangers anyway...so until he's old enough to learn about them we'll just watch him like a hawk. (Not that we don't anyway.)

So happy viewing!

...I would be embarassed.

2009-09-17T20:32:00.002-04:00

But I'm not! Other parents would be embarassed by the following story. Not me. I think my kid is hilarious!

So the sitter said she HAD to tell me something M did today. :-)

Apparently our little guy was bring changed and he reached down and grabbed his genitals and looked at the sitter and said "ball?"

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! So funny! No we don't call his testicles "balls", but apparently he does. :-)

-- Post From My iPhone

...I would keep you update more often.

2009-09-16T12:59:00.006-04:00

I suck. I know. I'm going to give it my honest effort to keep you more in the loop. I'm also thinking about starting a blog specifically for M. I'll keep you informed on that. :-) I'm trying to decide if this should be a "family" blog or if M needs a blog specifically to chronicle his life. The jury is still out.

So the latest development in our life is that our house is on the market. Yep. She's up for sale! We had a run-in with our HOA earlier this spring. We investigated putting it up for sale then, but the realtor we spoke to was less than enthusiastic, which left us feeling like it was useless to list it to only break even and have to move into a home we're not in love with. Well, two houses that were comparable in our neighborhood sold quickly in the last month. So we started looking at houses. We found one we're in love with. Great area, close to schools (walking distance) and the park in Shelby Co. It's got more SF than we have now with nicer finishings and we'll finally get our basement and our master bath (with a whirlpool tub and double vanity!). So we contacted another realtor and she was very confident she could sell our house for enough for us to make the downpayment on another house. So now we're hoping it sells fast AND that our realtor can get written approval from the new HOA for B's truck/trailer. We'll keep you posted.

For now here is a pic of the front of it!

An update on M. We started "Sleep Training" to get him out of our bed everynight AND to teach him to put himself to sleep. The kid is yet again showing signs of his intelligence. They say to expect a week to two weeks of crying and sleepless nights. Well, we've been through night 2 and he's already sleeping through the night. He cried 2 minutes last night before he fell asleep for the night. Seriously, do kids get better than this? I can't imagine! Our next one will be a nightmare. Mark my words.

Here are some fun pics of him lately!

...my little man would be invincible.

2009-08-29T08:37:00.001-04:00

Unfortunately that's unrealistic. He isn't invincible and he IS very fearless (at least when it comes to dangerous stunts). So here we are...with our first black eye. It's not just a black eye though...it's a black eye with a cut on it. We took him to urgent care just as a precaution, but it's fine. Doesn't bother him one bit!

Here's a couple of pictures. The first is of him dismounting from his standing position on his zebra. The second is of his eye this morning.

-- Post From My iPhone

...everyone would have access to Photo Booth.

2009-08-16T20:06:00.005-04:00

It's an application on my MacBook that is HOURS of entertainment! I mean I laughed so hard I almost cried doing this. So here's a little taste for you. :-)

...life's decisions would be all laid out nice a neat.

2009-08-11T20:07:00.003-04:00

I get the itch to try to give M a sibling just about every few days. We can't comfortably afford it right now...maybe once he is getting ready for kindergarden, but not right now. Everyone says "You'll make it work." And I know they're right, but we'd rather not have to "make it work"...we'd rather it work easily. It will avoid lots of arguments. :-)

I'm also torn about whether I really want to have another baby or if I just want M to not be alone after we're gone. I know lots of only children who are well-adjusted-thanks to their parents for making them that way. So some days I feel like I really just want to give ALL of my love to M and have plenty of extra cash to help him succeed. I just love him so much I can't imagine sharing my time/attention with anyone else.

I also spent the weekend with my superhero cousin who has a 2.5 year old and a 2 month old. She was exhausted. She didn't have time to focus like she wanted to. Her son, despite all her efforts, felt abandoned sometimes (not last weekend, but other times). I just don't know how I could deal with M ever feeling abandoned...even knowing it's for his baby sister/brother and that he'd understand one day.

So we'll probably revisit the idea in 4 years and see how we feel then. :-) It's a tough, tough decision though!

...we would all feel comfortable in whatever we're wearing.

2009-08-11T11:46:00.005-04:00

Mom gave M a giant bowl at the cabin to help her "cook". He thought it was better used as a hat than a bowl. :-) Dad and I think he looks like Rick Moranis as "Dark Helmet" in Spaceballs only his helmet is light.

Enjoy!

...I would look this cute dancing.

2009-08-03T13:37:00.005-04:00

This weekend at the lake my Dad caught M "shakin' his booty". The kid loves to dance. It all started with a bit of head bobbing in the car to the Black Eyed Peas. Now he's doing a full-body dance to a random bunch of songs. He seems to prefer pop music/hip-hop, but he's been known to dance to some Outkast and Eric Hutchinson. :-) He's an equal opportunity dancer. haha.

Here he is in all his glory. Enjoy!

...I would be a better blogger.

2009-07-20T07:56:00.002-04:00

I'm working on a really snappy little slideshow of M's first year. So I kept thinking I'd be done with it soon, but it's taking me longer than I had anticipated. :-)

I'll put it up ASAP. For now, here's a pic from this weekend at the cabin. Yes, it's just the box. He's not drinking beer quite yet.

...I could have live streaming video of M for you.

2009-06-29T21:12:00.004-04:00

Because this kid gets cuter by the minute! I swear to goodness he does something cuter every day. He laughs at almost everything now. He turned 1 on Saturday and got TONS of toys. So much so that I think we're going to convert our office into a playroom...more on that to come in the future. Anyway, he loves all his toys. I thought for sure that some would be less exciting to him than others, but this kid LOVES toys! No one can say he's not grateful! :-)

He got tons of riding toys and toys he can walk behind that either make noise or blow bubbles. He loves it all. We gave him his car before his party because it was already put together and quite large. So he played in it before we went to the party. HE LOVED IT! He likes to go really fast in his wagon that Granny & Poppy him...so fast I'm afraid I'm going to tip him over. I think he'd be happy if I'd keep going zippy...but I'm too scared. His G-paw and Grandma got him a John Deere 4-wheeler toy that he can ride on. It has buttons that make noise and sing songs. He loves climbing on and off of it and pushing the buttons to dance to the John Deere song. It's very cute!

He is walking like crazy now. It is his preferred method of travel these days. That said we've also run into some bumps and bruises. His eye is currently nearly black from falling and stopping himself with his face. Tomorrow is his 1 year well-check and I'm taking him with a black eye. That's fun!

Anyway, here is a video of him in his car we got him. He loves it! There are a couple of pictures from his party...but only ones my Aunt sent me...so when I get more I'll post more. :-)

...I would feel like I videoed this enough.

2009-06-22T18:52:00.006-04:00

The title of this video is "Will Walk for Lucky Charms".

I was eating Lucky Charms this afternoon while M was eating his Cheerios. He decided he wanted some of mine instead. So I laid a couple of the cereal (no marshmallows) in with his Cheerios on his tray. He snatched them up and ate them and reached out for more. So I put a couple of more in with his Cheerios and he picked them out immediately. They all look the same except for their shape, but he could even pick out the circular looking ones too. He's a genius. :-)

Here's the video. Enjoy!! (Notice the red mark on his forehead. He is NOT an expert walker by any means...fell into the baby gate upstairs and scraped his noggin."

I am thankful.

2009-06-17T11:23:00.001-04:00

As I sit here on the beach with the wind blowing in my face (in the shade because of a sunburn and fear of skin cancer) I can't help but think of how amazingly fortunate I am.

I am surrounded by my husband, my painfully adorable son, in-laws and nature at its finest. Life is near perfection...and I'm so lucky to be where I am.

I'm fortunate enough to have family who wants to spend a week in close quarters with me. I'm lucky to be able to let my son experience new things that many kids will never ever experience. I'm lucky that I have a job that allows me to do these things both financially and the time off work.

Life is good and I couldn't possibly be more grateful for the place life (or God) had taken me.

On a lighter note...

-- Post From My iPhone

...I would live in Florida.

2009-06-14T22:04:00.002-04:00

Not really. I love Kentucky...and it wouldn't be vacation if I lived here. But damn what beautiful pictures we're getting of M. Grandma has a quick shutter finger and Mama has an obsession. :-)

Here are a few good ones from our first and second day:

-- Post From My iPhone

...I wouldn't have to make you jump through hoops.

2009-06-12T10:03:00.004-04:00

Sorry about having to log in and stuff...but I'd rather not find out M's face has been used in some derogatory manner. So here we are. :-)

We're leaving for the beach tonight (getting there tomorrow). So I'll be sure to post plenty of pictures for your enjoyment. His first beach trip! Brings a tear to my eye. haha.

Thanks for reading.

...all the help would be this cute!

2009-06-09T21:25:00.001-04:00

I was unloading the dishwasher and someone stood up and helped me with the baby spoons. He kept trying to climb on the top rack so I had to keep it closed of distract him with a big, red ladel.

Here are some pics:

-- Post From My iPhone

...all the little precious moments could be captured on film.

2009-06-08T21:56:00.002-04:00

We took M to Slugger Field for his first baseball game tonight. My company was having an outing of sorts. It was really wonderful...a bit cramped for someone trying to learn to walk, but it was awesome for everyone to get to see M in person after so many months if hearing about him.

On our way out (early bedtime for the bambino) we had to stop and see the Gallopalooza horse. He loved it!! Here are some pictures.

-- Post From My iPhone

...all construction paper hats would make me this happy.

2009-06-05T13:37:00.002-04:00

So at the new sitter's house M does a project almost everyday. The latest, or one of the latest, was this cute little "ant hat" made of construction paper.

I put it on him and he immediately tried to get it off his head like he does any hat. But then he tried to put it back on. So cute!!

-- Post From My iPhone

...pride doesn't do it justice.

2009-06-03T20:51:00.007-04:00

So today we took M for his first haircut. I fed him before we went in because the appointment (silly Mommy!) was right at dinner time. So he ate and we went in happy instead of mad as hell. He sat on my lap and was the perfect little man! I was so proud! There were a total of ZERO tears shed in the process and he now looks even cuter than he did, which is really sayin' somethin' cuz that kid was freaking cute to start! :-) (I know a little bit of bias there. haha!)

So here's a little clip of him being such a well-behaved big boy! (as long as we kept the "cheetos" coming!)

Here are some photos of his new 'do:

...we could swing all day.

2009-06-03T16:30:00.002-04:00

We took M to the park yesterday to see how he'd like the swings. Well he LOVED them! He didn't even want to get out to try the slide with me.

What we didn't take into account was that it would put him to sleep for the ride home and then we'd have to wake him for his bath. Bad times to wake a sleeping baby!

Anyway, here are a couple of pictures from our adventure.

-- Post From My iPhone

...I have a walker!

2009-05-31T18:16:00.003-04:00

Here he is in all his mobile glory. He's randomly taking a few steps. He's still pretty unsteady, but he knows HOW to do it and he WANTS to do it all the time...he just can't yet. It's only a matter of a week or two before we're on the move BIG time. :-) It's enough to make a Mama cry with pride. (We've also figured out how to crawl on all fours...)

...this could be a ringtone for my cellphone.

2009-05-29T21:10:00.003-04:00

This is hands down the greatest sound in the history of the world.

Daddy loves to steal sugar from M's belly. M in turn loves to have the sugar stolen. They're a great pair.

...I wouldn't have to write this about a "new" sitter.

2009-05-22T14:13:00.003-04:00

Why I big, puffy heart our new sitter:

1.) She babies M.

2.) She is kind to him and us.

3.) She sends home art projects…even if he doesn’t do them himself completely she’s taking time to get him into something artsy…and just DOING something with him rather than watching him crawl around and telling him no all the time.

4.) She is cooperative and never acts like anything is a pain in her neck.

5.) She snuggles my baby for me when he needs it since I can’t be there.

6.) She encourages him to play with the “big” kids rather than be surrounded by babies all day.

7.) She called me his first day before I could call her to tell me he was doing fine because she knew I was worried. She cares.

8.) Her “center” feels like home (meaning cozy) to me and I’m sure it does to M too.

9.) She loves to have him (and all the other kids) outside as much as possible.

10.) She treats him like one of her own and in this case it’s a good thing.

...my hair would look this good.

2009-05-19T07:17:00.001-04:00

Bed head has struck the Doodle in a big way!

-- Post From My iPhone

...everything would be easy.

2009-05-18T21:24:00.006-04:00

Well, that's not how it all goes down does it? It's been a very eventful couple of weeks for the Clark family. We have a new sitter, as of today, which has been very difficult for us all. After a stressful day we pulled M from the sitter he's been with since he was 3 months old. That was a very hard thing to do, especially knowing how reliant he is on routines and schedules.

But for his benefit we did it anyway. Luckily, he had family available to play with him all day. To say he was spoiled the entire time would be putting it mildly. Through all of this he was fighting a double ear infection, horrible side effects of the antibiotics, and some new teeth (that still haven't reared their ugly heads yet). So it's been rough on him and us...

He went from rolling to get where he wanted to go, to Army crawling, to trying to walk on his own behind a walk-behind toy. It's been a wild ride and I'm pretty sure it's only going to get more interesting! So here is a video of the last couple of months. :-) Easter through today.

Enjoy!

...Mother's Day would never end.

2009-05-10T20:40:00.000-04:00

Well, I celebrated my first Mother's Day...it was wonderful. Brad got me some cinnamon raisin biscuits and ran me a hot bubble bath. It was wonderful. Then we went to Louisville to eat at Panera, but it was too crowded. So we did. PF Changs instead. Yummy!

Brad wanted to get me some running shoes like his but thanks to pregnancy no one had my size. (damn big feet). So he bought me some perfume instead. :-)

Here are some pictures from PF Changs: (he really enjoyed the funny spoon)

...I would quit trying to "Church" it up.

2009-04-29T13:59:00.001-04:00

Yes, ladies and germs...the old layout is back. No one complained, but I hated that other crap. It was too busy and "frilly" for me. So we're back to basics. Hope you're happy! :-P

...I'll get to write more now!

2009-04-22T17:59:00.002-04:00

I found a blogger application for my iPhone...so now I can post stuff as I think about it and not 7 weeks later! Yay!

Well, we have started some Accuhist and M seems to be on the mend. Can I get a "hallelujah"? We'll see how tonight goes.

...M would just stay healthy for a month or so...

2009-04-20T17:12:00.002-04:00

But apparently that is TOO much to ask. He is sick yet again. This time the ickiness is runny nose, coughing, he's puked twice in a week, and recent bout of constipation. Awesome huh? No wonder he's fussy as hell! He's just a pitiful little mess. Very clingy, which is fine if he'd be content once I was holding him, but no. He doesn't know what he really wants or what will make him feel better.

It doesn't help that I have to keep wiping his poor little nose as the snot run closer and closer to his mouth. HE HATES THAT. Not more than he hates having his nose suctioned though...I believe we'll be restraining him prior to doing it before bed tonight. It should be quite painful for both B and I to watch. Poor little lamb.

Aside from that we're all doing well though. No rest for the wicked, as they say. :-) Here's a pic of him when I got him home. He got ticked off when I was feeding the dogs...impatient little booger nose!

...things are wonderful despite a few bumps in the road.

2009-04-13T14:45:00.005-04:00

So it was brought to my attention (Thanks Aunt Alice! hehe.) that I haven't written in a while. That is absolutely correct. Things have been insanity around here for the last few weeks. It started with the flu as I posted about last time. The flu threw of M's schedule soooooo badly it took us two weeks to get him back to sleeping through the night and in his own bed. He's good now though.

Two weeks ago he decided to take a stab at skydiving. I was standing at the changing table getting ready to change his clothes. I bent down to grab his clothes from the basket beside me and in that second the little acrobat flipped off and landed on his belly. I FREAKED OUT (internally). He started screaming immediately, which was a relief. He could focus on me and he wasn't lethargic and everything seemed fine, but I wasn't taking any chances after Natasha Richardson's sad, sad death. So off to the pediatrician we went. We waited two hours for him to get checked out. He was fine, obviously, but the pediatrican was very reassuring that I'd done the right thing by not waiting to bring him in. (Of course she wants to get paid, but I don't care...better safe than sorry!)

Here's a picture from our wait at the doc's office (notice the red mark on his forehead):

We celebrated Easter this past weekend. We went to brunch at the Bristol Bar & Grill with Mom and Dad, which was phenomenal as usual. They have this honey butter that I think I could drink if given the opportunity! :-) Then Sunday evening we had dinner with Brad's parents. That was awesome too...steaks and fried apples...my mouth waters just thinking about it. M also got his first Easter basket. It was his G-Paw's and then it was his Daddy's and now it's his. I added a personal touch so I could feel like it was partly from me too...but I think it's just the sweetest, most perfect Easter basket in the world. He had zero interest in it, but next year he will!

Here's a picture of Mommy's handy work for M's first Easter:

...the flu would not exist.

2009-03-20T16:49:00.002-04:00

Unfortunately that's just not the case. I have the flu. Awesome huh? Body aches, runny/stuff nose, cough, the works. I can handle all those symptoms, but what I can't handle is not being able hold/comfort my little man. B has quarantined me to the main level of the house except to shower to try to avoid M getting the flu. I'm not allowed to hold him, feed him, anything. I did wear a surgical mask last night to rock him to sleep because B had been up a million times and it was only 2:45am. It felt so good to have him in my arms.

So I'm hoping B will let me handle him tonight if I wear a mask and wash my hands really well. One thing that was surprising is that M didn't mind the mask on Mommy. He knew it was me even though I wasn't talking to him or anything. I love that. I love it that he knows his Mama that well. He has started reaching out for me and it breaks my heart that for the last two days I haven't been able to pick him up and love on him. It's gut-wrenching actually.

Alright, back to sleep for me.

...I could make myself feel how I know I should.

2009-03-19T13:44:00.002-04:00

So when I had M I assumed that seeing him in the arms of people I love would thrill me and I'd have the warm, fuzzy feelings. I don't. Don't get me wrong...I'm so happy that M is happy in other people's arms and that he loves his family (grandparents, aunts & uncles, etc.), but I just don't feel overwhelmed with joy like I thought that I would. I don't know why that is. I don't know if maybe in our efforts to get pregnant something has tripped in my brain and now I'm TOO attached to him or what. I'm happiest when he's in MY arms or B's of course.

I also don't want to be away from him. I already have to be away from him for 10 hours a day working...so when work is over I'm happy being with just M and B. We go out on dates alone, but not very often. We have sitters (ie., grandparents) ready and waiting basically, but we rarely use them. We have not spent a night away from him since he was born almost 9 months ago. I've only missed one bath/bedtime.

I know the grandparents think they should be watching him more, but I honestly just don't want to be away from him. He's my little miracle and when I'm with him I feel complete. In late May, the girls and I are planning a trip to Charleston, SC for a weekend of fun and silliness. That will be the first time I'm away from him. It's going to be really, really hard. At that point he'll almost be a year old...and I know B is obviously more than capable of taking care of him while I'm gone. So it should be fine, but it's still hard and I get a little anxious thinking about it already.

Am I crazy to feel this way? Is it going to make me a crazy mother-in-law? I'm doing my best to recognize how I feel and deal with it and do what I know is right, but it's tough!

But a little tip to anyone who thinks they should be watching our baby more...don't bitch. It just makes me mad. You'll watch him when we're ready and not a moment sooner whether it's normal, crazy, or whatever else you might call it. That's how we roll.

...my little man would be littler!

2009-03-14T18:28:00.005-04:00

He's growing so dang fast! It's literally like I blinked and now he's 8.5 months old! He now officially has 2 top teeth...they're not visible unless you look for them, but you can hear him grinding them ALREADY! I'll try to get a picture of them soon.

He's taking a bath minus his infant tub...so he's sitting in the water all alone. He looks freakin' adorable and he loves it. Here are some pictures of him in all his glory!

...things are pretty boring right now. :-)

2009-03-06T06:24:00.004-05:00

Well, we're still teething, but we appear to be in a calm before the storm if you will. :-) The last two days have been glorious. Brad is working the Home Garden & Remodeling Show this weekend so I'll be a single parent for all intensive purposes. So that should be interesting.

Well, what has happend since I last wrote? Well, M called 911 on my cellphone. That was nice. I was mortified of course, but I politely apologized to the dispatcher, who was VERY kind I might add, and hung up. He was chewing on my locked phone and I wasn't aware that even when locked you can dial Emergency Services. So if you didn't know that either...now you do!

I'm getting an iPhone! I've resisted the trend for long enough. Those things are amazing. Will I use it? Who knows...we'll see. Everyone I've talked to says yes I will...so I'll try it for two years and if I don't like it or feel it's necessary I'll downgrade. No biggie.

M's Uncle Nic has returned safely to US soil. He is "home" in O'ahu and has so far had mostly 1/2 days of work or less...so that sounds PRETTY nice to me. He should be home in May at some point and we're planning a big bash for his "homecoming". It should be lots of fun. I'm sooooooo anxious for him to meet M. I mean I daydream about it. It will be like introducing him the day he was born all over again and that was such a proud day. So combine that with the return of my brave soldier...what a great day it will be. :-)

Alright, I've blabbed enough. I need to do this more often so you can read less more frequently! Below is a video montage of M. Enjoy the cracked out music. :-) It makes me laugh and I hope it does you too. haha.

...teeth would magically appear.

2009-02-11T21:29:00.004-05:00

Unfortunately that's not how it happens. Poor little M has been teething or working on his top teeth for what feels like an eternity. Drooling gobs, fussiness off and on, the works. Tonight, of course the night Brad's at the National Truck/Tractor Pull, M was Mr. Fussypants. He fussed, fidgeted, fussed, thrashed about, fussed, screamed, cried, fussed, thrashed about, oh and did I mention fussed? Bless his heart. He was a pitiful mess. The poor dogs got ousted to their crates because I thought I was going to throw myself into the wind outside and let it carry me away (as if it could lift this big ass!). Luckily...M calmed down after his bath with Mommy and another dose of tylenol/orajel. He's sleeping peacefully for the moment.

Today has been a big day for him though. I went to Cincinnati with someone who is using our fertility doc and M got to meet Dr. Scheiber...the man who made his life possible. He met his maker if you will. :-) Of course he commented on how he's "all boy" and a rough-lookin' guy (meaning how hefty he is). I was very proud, as I always am when showing off my little man. Because I was going to Cincy I took the day off today and got to spend the whole day with M. It was nice even though he was Fussy McFusserton.

I'm now enjoying some cold pizza that I didn't get a chance to enjoy earlier. :-) Yummy cold pizza!

PS-Here's a picture (albeit a horrible one) of my hair. I'm learning to fix it...I'm getting better every day.

...I could listen to this all day.

2009-02-05T20:18:00.003-05:00

Oh wait...I can thanks to my blog! :-) Enjoy our little man!

2009-02-04T13:21:00.003-05:00

Well, I’ve been designing some ads on my own for work. Just some fun ads that are more creative than what we normally run. I created the set of ads in September of 2007. I’ve asked to run them several times and it’s so expensive to run full color ads that the President has been resistant. Well, with Valentine’s Day coming up, I asked him to let me run my “Gumdrop” ad. He said that we could discuss it. Before going in to discuss it with him I changed it around a bit from full color to spot color. So the ad instead of having all colored gumdrops only the red ones are showing with the rest black and white.

I took it in to him and he immediately approved it!!!! So I’m finally being published! What a great day! I’m so excited. It might not sound like a lot to some people, but I’ve been pushing this ad for over 2 years now and it’s finally being used. I also have had a hard time, as you know, coming back to work after M was born. So this makes me feel like I’m at least being used for what I’m good for. At least one of my degrees is paying off!

Here is the ad for your viewing pleasure!

...I could easily be the girl I was.

2009-02-03T13:34:00.009-05:00

Somewhere along the line I’ve become someone I’m not. I don’t know when it happened or how it happened for that matter. I’ve always been confident, at least outwardly, and never really cared what other people think of me and how I look. For some reason at some point that changed and I’ve been trying fit into the mold of what I thought a 20 something girl was supposed to look like. In trying to fit into that mold, I’m finding that I’m unhappy with myself.

This is not who I am. I’m the girl who marches to her own tune. I’m the girl who is comfortable in striped socks and ballet flats. I’m the girl who wears clothes because they’re comfortable and make her feel beautiful, not because it’s what Ann Taylor said was perfect for “my” body type. I want to be the girl I used to be again. I want to be happy with myself and who I am.

So in an effort to start down that road to rediscovery, I’m getting my hair did. I’m having a hard time deciding what to do though. I am so BAD, or pathetic rather, at “fixing” my hair. I blow dry it every morning. If necessary I’ll flat iron some parts of it. I can use straightening gel, or styling gel, but only minimally…unless specifically taught HOW to do it. I know, I’m a poor excuse for a girl…but that’s me. J

So what I think I’m looking for in a hairdo is simple, messy, short (not a lot for M to get his pinchers into, but not super short either). My hair has a LOT of curl underneath in the back, but the rest is stick-straight. It is also EXTREMELY thick. Like ridiculous thick…constantly having to be thinned just to be tolerable!

So please vote for one of the options below…OR email me to send me a picture you think would look good on me so I can take it to my hair lady and get it done.

1.) Alice Cullen from Twilight (Probably a little longer than this and maybe no bangs.)

2.) Mandy Moore (I'm not sure I could pull this off without it looking flat.)

3.) Julie Stiles

...Time would slow down to let me catch my breath!

2009-01-22T12:24:00.004-05:00

Well, I know it’s been a while since I posted anything new. Much has happened! M is finding his way around the floor now. He’s not crawling, although he’s working on learning how to use his arms/legs for movement, but he is rolling and squirming all over the floor. He is now sleeping in his crib in his room through the night. We get up maybe once a night to put his Nuk back in. He has also started this really cute thing where he sees something he wants and he throws his entire body into the effort to reach it. For instance, this morning coming down the stairs he saw Macy and decided he wanted her so he threw his body forward and nearly flipped out of my arms. Yep, we have to keep a tight grasp on him these days! Still no words, but we’re getting tons of “Bah, bah, bah” with different pitches as if he thinks he’s saying words.

We also found out that Nic should be leaving the desert on February 17th. So we’re super thankful for that. We’re not sure when he’ll get to come home to Kentucky, but as long as he’s out of harm’s way we’ll be satisfied. I absolutely can’t wait for him to meet M. That is going to be such a sweet moment and I know I’ll cry and be a blubbering idiot, but I don’t care.

We also had his 6 month pictures taken by Amy Sieweke, my personal photographer. J She did an amazing job, as usual. You can view them by going here: http://www.amysiewekephotography.zenfolio.com/ and clicking on his sweet little face. The Ale-8 pictures were taken specifically for my Dad, who as you may or may not know drinks that stuff like it’s going out of style. So those pics were for him.

Oh we also got to see our President inaugurated. B and I both very confidently voted for President Obama (like the sound of that!) because we wanted to see a change in Washington and he inspired us like no other candidate ever has. So we’re hoping and praying he keeps up his end of the bargain and is able to accomplish all that he sets out to accomplish. Welcome home Mr. President!!

Alright, sorry this is so long…I’ll try not to wait as long next time!

PS-Can you believe it's already been 7 months since M was born?? I CAN'T!!

...mobility is upon us.

2009-01-11T09:30:00.002-05:00

Yes, that's right...he's a rollin'! He was very sick Sunday/Monday/Tuesday of last week and he rolled every day. It was just once a day, but he has finally figured out how to get over that speedbump arm of his. He rolls onto his belly from his back and just kind of lays there and kicks his legs trying to figure out how to get them to go somewhere. Then about 3 minutes later he starts crying because he HATES being on his belly. That said...I don't think we're far from a crawler or at least a little roley poley who roles where he needs to go. :-)

Also, I am proud to report that I bought a smaller size jeans yesterday because the ones I bought the other day were TOO BIG! Yay! I'm now only 4 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. Woohoo!! Now if only I could get this saggy belly to snap back into shape. :-) That's gonna take some serious treadmill time though. I'm also considering training to run/walk the 5k for the Derby Festivities. Haven't totally committed to it yet, but I'm thinking it might give me a goal besides weight loss. It's hard to motivate myself to exercise to lose weight when dieting is working perfectly for me. So I'll keep ya posted on that one. Plus all the people who I see that run all the time are smokin' hot...and I'd love a bit of that smoke in my step. :-)

Okay off to see Wicked with Mamacita.

...this new year will bring wonderful joys and many happy times.

2009-01-02T09:04:00.005-05:00

Last year was amazing for me. It was amazing in that B and I got the little piglet we had been praying so hard for so long for. I saw a quote on a message board the other day that went like this "First we had each other. Then we had you. Now we have everything." That sums up 2008 for B and I.

2008 is the year that I became a mother. This deserves a different paragraph because it's HUGE. When we were trying to conceive I knew what the job entailed physically (most of it anyway) and I knew it was a 24/7 job. I knew I would love him, but there is no question that I could not wrap my mind around the love I would have for him. M is now my life. I think about him all the time. It's kind of a disservice to everyone else really...M gets 1/3 of my brain, B gets 1/3 and everyone else gets the rest. My Mom always told me that she and Dad always wanted to spend time with us (kids) and together more than with anyone else. I now understand that.

2009 is going to hold some changes for everyone...mainly because we CAN'T keep going like we had been...that's why our country is in the shape its in. Together B and I will be scaling back on what we spend. We live pretty much within our means now...but we spend what we have and no more. We want to start saving big time. We want to be prepared for an economy like this if it happens again...and if it doesn't happen again we can go on a trip around the world before we die. :-) Bottom line, we want to be prepared for anything.

For me, 2009 is going to represent change too. I'm going to focus on making myself happy with who I am and what I look like. I've always had issues with body image...that's going to change. I'm going to start exercising and eating better and whatever I look like is what I'm supposed to look like. I refuse to continue feeling badly about myself when I stand by someone wearing their size 6 jeans. I'm going to teach myself to be happy in my 12-14's. I'm a Mommy and with that comes a change in body shape/size. 12-14's are worth my little M.

I'm also going to focus on making my husband happy. A lot of you know B and you know he is just like his father...angels. I take him for granted more than I care to admit. But this year I'm going to focus on making my child and my marriage a priority. If the three of us are happy then nothing else matters.

Along with the body image resolution, I'm going to focus on what I'm eating. I'm cutting out sweet tea (oh the horror!), regular sodas (and not drink a lot of soda at all), enjoy sweet indulgences in moderation, enjoying a fair portion rather than a full plate and seconds, and hydrating my body. I started this right before I went back to work in September and I've lost 15 pounds. So from 9/8/08 to 1/1/09 I've lost 15 pounds. That's fantastic and I'm so proud of myself...and I'm going to continue to make myself proud. It wasn't hard once I got used to a routine with it...it was when I broke the routine that I struggled. So I'm focusing on it again. I WILL BE BACK TO MY WEDDING WEIGHT BY MY 5 YEAR ANNIVERSARY IN JULY. That's another 26 pounds. I can do it! I know I can and I'll feel so great if I do...stretchmarks and all! :-)

Alright, there ya have it. That's what I'm resolving to do. I'll keep you posted on how I do.

Happy new year everyone! Good luck!

...5 months wouldn't just be a memory.

2008-12-27T22:57:00.004-05:00

I know it's late, but here's a video montage of M's 5th month. Enjoy!! He's so big and such a little character.

...it's Christmas!

2008-12-24T13:55:00.006-05:00

Yes, M's first Christmas is finally here. This is also the 8th Christmas B and I have spent together. While things have changed a great deal over the years, it's still Christmas and we're so happy to be surrounded by family...now our own family. M's stocking is hanging on the mantle with some goodies in it, there are gifts under the tree...and our kitchen is ready for baking. Life is good.

We were good though and didn't go over board on the gifts for him. We figured he's only interested in like 1 toy at a time anyway and the grandparents will probably bombard him with gifts...so we went light this year. We also decided that we will not be "those" parents who overwhelm their child with gifts to the point that they don't appreciate them and being to feel entitled to them. We want him to always appreciate what he gets. So while we'll do more than we did this year, we're still going to TRY to maintain a "one big gift and a few small ones" plan.

Below are a couple of great shots of M in his Christmas attire. :-)

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Happy Hannukah/Feliz Navidad/Happy Kwanza, whatever works for you...either way enjoy it!

...I could hit pause on my life.

2008-11-26T11:45:00.003-05:00

Last night B was feeding M before bed and he wouldn't take his bottle. So as usual, Brad put some Orajel on his gums because he's been teething for a good 2 months now. When he did that he felt something new that he hadn't felt before. That's right...the tippy-top of a tooth is trying to poke through! It's still in his gums, but it's starting to make its way to the top. :-)

I almost started crying. I'm so happy he's growing normally and things are as they should be, but does it have to go by so fast? He was barely bigger than a 20 oz. Coke...and now he's getting teeth! Someone stop the ride?? I wanna get off with my little man and keep him little like he is now.

...the answer would be clear.

2008-11-25T12:41:00.003-05:00

I have this overwhelming need to teach my son, from an early age, to be selfless and to be empathetic to others' situations. I want him to put himself in other people's shoes before he judges them. I've seen so many people around me be selfish (myself included) and judge other people's situation without having an inkling of how it feels to be them. I want to make sure he knows that someone else always has it more rough than he does and that the way to make himself feel better is to help someone else feel better. B told me the other day that we need to make sure we're happy so that others around us will in turn be happy and I think he's onto something.

My dilema is that I just don't know how to be a good role model for M. I want him to see me helping others and doing great, selfless things for others so that he will want to model that himself and he will be raised by two people who care so much about others that he will know no other way. I'm just not sure how to get started. I feel such a strong draw to the children in Africa, but I don't know how, aside from a monetary donation, to help them. I also don't want him to think a monetary donation is enough. While that's a great start, I want him to know that just sending someone a check doesn't feel nearly as good as physically helping someone.

So where do I start? I can't move to Africa. I can't quit my job and work not-for-profit...so where do I begin? I just see that he has so much potential to be a wonderful human being and I don't want to mess that up a bit. It's my job as his mother and B's as his father to make sure he's surrounded by encouraging people and people who model the behavior we want him to learn as the norm. So where do I begin? Any ideas?

...time would slow down and let me catch my breath!

2008-11-11T22:27:00.004-05:00

Here is the video we made for Nic of M's 4th month on Earth. This one isn't quite as fun as the others, but cute. I warn you, I have an addiction to photographing M's face. So be prepared.

...religion would be cut and dry.

2008-10-24T12:47:00.003-04:00

For those that know me, you know I've never been a very religious person. I respect people of all religions, but I've just never actually bought into one religion. I've always considered myself Agnostic because I believe in God, but not necessarily the Bible and Jesus Christ. Well, strangely enough, after having M I've been feeling much more drawn to a religion. I'm not sure what the deal is. I find myself feeling comforted by God and prayer. I've always prayed to God, but never "really" believed it would do any good.

When I was doing fertility treatments, mine and Brad's best friends got pregnant after 3 months. This was 9 months before we got pregnant. It was really, really hard on me. I love them both so I never showed them how much it hurt because I had no right to rain on their parade and I was sooooo excited about the future little one. Well right after they got pregnant I started to pray to God asking Him to just please let me be pregnant before Carter came into the world. I just didn't want to have to be at the hospital when he was being born knowing that I may not have a baby of my own one day. Well, the day came when Courtney was going to be induced and coincidentally or not, I found out that morning I was pregnant. So the following day when Carter was born I KNEW in the hospital that I was pregnant.

It was at that time that I started to really wonder about God and whether that coincidence or not. Then after M came I started to feel a need to understand. I mean, M's life is such a miracle and it wasn't just luck...there was more to it than that. I truly believe now that God had a plan for me. As bad as I hated the whole process, He wanted to test B and I and pull us closer together before we introduced a new person into the mix. We rose to the occassion and tackled some really tough situations and were there for each other every step of the way and after that point we got pregnant.

I'm not going to preach to anyone, ever because I always hated that, but I do feel much more at peace now that I'm finding my way with regards to God. A big thanks to MayDayGirl for helping me without even knowing it. :-)

...I would live closer to Amy Sieweke.

2008-10-07T21:54:00.003-04:00

So that she could photograph our little man ALL THE TIME. Seriously, the woman is a genius. She came to Shelbyville this past weekend and stayed overnight with us and took pictures of M on the farm where B and I got married for his 3 month pictures. I wish sooooooo much that I would've had her do his newborn photos. No slight on Wales Hunter, but he's a photojournalist, not a portrait guy. I knew this.

You should go check out the rest of them at http://amysiewekephotography.zenfolio.com

...I could be a stay-at-home Mom.

2008-09-25T20:52:00.003-04:00

I am back at work now...started this past Monday. I hate it. I hate being away from M. I hate it that someone else spends more time with him. I hate it that I only see him awake for like 2 hours a day. I hate it that I don't know how he behaves when he's being fed. I hate it that I'm not raising my son.

I had no idea I would feel this way. I honestly was sure I would want to go back to work because I like the interaction. But now that I'm back I hate it. I just want to be with M all day everyday again. I don't want someone to know more about his day-to-day life than me. It breaks my heart that I don't get to be with him when he does everything for the first time. I'm completely surprised by my feelings.

On top of that, I went to work on Monday and received a new job description. Yes, the job I left is no more. All the things I loved about my job are no longer my responsibility. I hate going to work now even more. At least if I have to leave my son at the sitter's house all day Monday through Friday I would like to be doing something I enjoy...not that I dread. Oh well, such is life right? At least I have a paycheck coming in and great benefits. I suppose I should quit bitching and thank my lucky stars to be so fortunate.

Alright, off to bathe the kiddo and fall into bed...to start all over again.

...there are no words for this.

2008-09-14T10:58:00.004-04:00

So my Dad saw the pic of M pouting. He said he thinks he looks like Winston Churchill. Well, I couldn't remember exactly what Churchill looked like. So I googled him and downloaded a picture.

Think the resemblance is strong?

...I wouldn't have to leave him with a sitter.

2008-09-11T11:31:00.004-04:00

But since I have to I luckily found a great one! I took M to the sitter today for a trial run while the painters are here painting our living room (cathedral ceilings, gotta love 'em!). I got up this morning and woke up before him because he slept for 9 hours (!!). Got dressed, brushed my teeth and went into the bedroom and he was laying in his pack-n-play smiling away. I got him out and unwrapped him (sleeps in his Miracle Blanket-aka Baby Straight jacket). He stretched and I changed and dressed him and he wasn't even acting hungry. So I got the diaper bag (packed the night before so I wouldn't forget anything) and we were on our way.

I got there and she already had one kid, a 4 year old named Jordan there...and another one came while I was there, a 1 year old whose name I don't know. She said she was so excited to have a baby again. By the time we got there he was hungry and I made him a bottle. Gave him to her to start feeding while I wrote out all the important info regarding feedings, sleep, and phone numbers. I looked over and while she was feeding him he was looking up at her smiling. Talk about a relief. I mean, not that I want him to fall in love with her, but it makes a mama feel good that he is taking to her well right off the bat. So I finished up and high-tailed it out of there so I could leave him on a happy note rather than a screaming upset one.

So now I feel a lot better about going back to work. I mean I'd obviously rather spend every waking minute with him so I don't miss anything, but if I can't be with him at least he'll be with someone great whom he seems to like already. The other kids also seemed to really like her as well which is nice to see. :-) So I'm gonna run over and get him as soon as the painters leave for the day. I hope he smiles real big for me when I go get him...

...I could resist kissing these cheeks.

2008-09-08T12:20:00.004-04:00

Amy Sieweke stopped by on her way to Louisville last week and had lunch, but before we could get to any food she had to snap some shots of my man. I believe she captured his true essence. This is the pouty face that is going to cost me TONS of money in the not to distant future.

I absolutely LOVE this picture. I think it's wonderful and it's probably my favorite one of him yet and I just had to share it with the world. :-) If you like this pic and you're in the Ashland area give her a call.

For more of her work check her out here:
http://amysiewekephotography.zenfolio.com/

...I could ignore Gov. Palin and she would go away.

2008-09-05T09:06:00.002-04:00

So, I'm gonna go political again. Sorry for you Republican friends of mine...I can't help it.

So...Governor Palin. Where to start. First, sexist or not, you have 5 children. One is pregnant at 17 and is going to need Mom's support. One is a 4 month old child with Down Syndrome. One is headed to Iraq. I think your family needs you more than your country. Okay, but really none of that is my business...it's up to her if she wants to babysit McCain instead of her family. To each his own.

But let's look at some other things about this woman that make me ill. First, she clearly doesn't believe in separation of church and state, which in my mind is huge. I don't want anyone who refers to getting legislation passed as "God's will" running my country. This country was founded because our forefathers weren't allowed to choose their religion...well then why in the world are we going to force God on Americans now? Isn't that sort of going against what our forefather sacrificed so much for?

Also, this lady was a part of the Alaska Secession Party, which tried to get Alaska removed from the United States of America. How is that patriotic? People talk about Obama's patriotism...she better not say a word. How do you go from being part of a group who wants to NOT be part of the United States to the Republican nominee for VP of the US? Makes zero sense to me.

Her speech, while delivered very well, was pathetic. All she did was bash Obama/Biden and tout how she was a hockey mom. How the hell can you be a hockey mom and be Governor? It's not like you can be at most games. How many does she get to like 1 a season? She really does a disservice to women everywhere. If Republicans were going to pick a female VP candidate, why not pick one who is strong and stands for what the US was founded on?

There's more, but the baby is stirring and I'm about to get super nasty anyway...so that's all for now. I'm looking forward to seeing how she falls on her face in the coming 8 weeks.

...I wouldn't feel like this.

2008-09-04T09:59:00.003-04:00

So I stopped birth control pills during college because they made me feel terrible. My moods were all over the place. When I went off them I almost immediately felt better. It was insane and so obvious that the pills were the problem. I was on Orthotricyclen for over a year before I changed pills. So I figured if I was on that one for so long it must not have been that bad. So that's the one I got back on a little over a week ago.

Already I'm feeling psycho. I have argued and bickered with B more than we have in years. It's been bad. I've gone to sleep twice crying. Last night I had a meltdown. I feel horrible. I feel fat, disgusting and yet I feel helpless to change anything. I know that exercise is the answer and a slight change in diet, but I just can't seem to lift myself up to do them. I'm feeling really sad that I'm going to have to leave M with a sitter. I'm planning to ask work about a change in my schedule that is a new idea to the company and I'm not sure how it will go over so I'm nervous about that. I feel bad because I've made B's life so much more difficult than it needed to be and it's always after a long day at work. Last night I was so tired and pitiful that I would cry every time M would fuss. I was so tired of being the ONLY one to be able to calm him down...but if B would try he would scream his guts out and I would end up taking over because I can't stand to hear him scream like that.

So I made the decision to quit cold turkey on those horrible birth control pills. I'm just going to stop them. I know it will probably mess up my cycle this month, but seriously what cycle? I don't remember the last time I actually had a known cycle, aside from when I got pregnant and I didn't realize it at the time that it was a normal cycle. So I'm going to let the chips fall where they may. We'll use other forms of protection, but if something happens on an accident we'll just count our blessings that we didn't have to spend $10k on another in-vitro cycle. :-)

So keep your fingers crossed that it will get out of my system quickly and I'll be back to my normal, tolerable, kind self in no time! Until then, you might wanna steer clear of me. ;-)

...maternity leave wouldn't end so soon.

2008-08-29T13:26:00.003-04:00

I seriously don't know how ladies who only get 6 weeks do it. I know you make due with what you have, but I don't know how I could do less than the 12 I have. I go back 9/22 and it seems way too close for comfort! I look forward to the adult interaction again and my full paychecks! But at the same time it really makes my heart hurt to imagine someone else taking care of him all day. The lady he's going to stay with is great and I know he'll be totally fine. It's just not me. I don't want to see him get attached to someone else. I know it's selfish, but even though at times I would deny it, I LOVE being his favorite person. I wish Brad was equal in that case, but I don't want anyone else to give me a run for my money.

My little sweet pea is going to be spending most of his time with someone besides me and that really breaks my heart. Why do I have to be an equal money-maker (almost) in our household?! Ugh. Okay...crybaby session over.

...my little man wouldn't grow so fast!

2008-08-27T14:17:00.002-04:00

Well, he has discovered his hands. Last night we were in the car and I looked back and his pacifier fell out right under his chin. He was using his hands to try to push it back in. When that didn't work he held them out and kind of looked at them as if to say "If these aren't for that then what the heck do I do with them?" It was really cute. Now I find him just sitting there looking at his hands and then putting them in his mouth. Very cute! He needs to slow down on the growing up...I'm pretty sure if I blink I'll miss something!

...people would judge people's character and not their color or status.

2008-08-22T08:38:00.005-04:00

Politics came up at dinner last night. It was stated that McCain is too old. I couldn't agree more. He probably could've been a great President had he won the first time he ran in 2000. He's just too old for the job now, in my opinion. It was also said that Obama will be shot if he gets the job and that there are so many back-woods people that wouldn't stand for a black president. While I know there are a lot of people out there who feel this way it still just absolutely makes me sick. Regardless of your party affiliation, why focus on the color of his skin? The man is well-educated, successful and can sympathize with the American public. And to be fair he's really only part African-American. His mother was a white woman.

People are so ignorant that they believe all these FWD emails that come through talking about him being related to terrorists. Are you freaking kidding me? Because his middle name is Hussein they think he must be a terrorist. How stupid is that? Am I the only one who realizes how stupid that sounds? Hussein is a very common name in Africa and Middle Eastern countries. The fact that Americans focus on stupid crap like that just goes to show you why our country is in the state it's in. We're ignorant. We're arrogant. We're oblivious to the rest of the world unless our fearless leader sends our brothers, uncles, fathers, and cousins to them to kill people.

I'm really not sure where I'm going with this. I just get so angry hearing "We can't have a black president." Uhm...why not? Who gives a shit what color he is? Where in the constitution does it say that our president has to be white and a man? That's right. It doesn't because that's a stupid thing to think and people who think it are ignorant and racist. I guess that's what it's about. So many people think they aren't racist, but they are so dumb they don't realize that saying things like that IS racist. Assuming someone might be shifty because their middle name is of middle eastern decent IS racist.

It all makes me mad. I don't want my child to grow up around people who feel this way. I don't want him to think it's okay to believe that a man whose skin is a different color is somehow less of a man than him. I know that it's up to me to teach him these things and I will, but it sure makes my job harder when he'll grow up surrounded by ignorance everywhere but at home.

Okay, well, I'll quit bitching. Have a nice weekend.

Here's a new picture of M...in his Bumbo chair!

...my son wouldn't tease me.

2008-08-16T08:18:00.002-04:00

So two glorious nights of sleeping through the night and just like that...it's over. Ugh. I knew it couldn't last...and that it was too good to be true. Now I wonder if it was something we did last night differently that caused the streak to end.

We went out to dinner last night and fed him while we were there, just like we did the night before. We came home and gave him a bath. Then wrapped him up in his Miracle Blanket and tried putting him to sleep. We would fall asleep and I'd lay him down and 20 minutes later he was up again. Finally we fed him again and he fell asleep again. Woke up so we fed him some more thinking he was still hungry (after changing his pee diaper) and he fell asleep after like a 1/4 ounce. He slept until about 3:45 and that was it. He had peed OUT of his diaper all over his Miracle Blanket, which presented a problem for Mommy b/c that's what makes him sleep so well...so now what?! Gonna have to invest in another one...one to wear and one to wash.

Anyway, I know I should be thrilled with just waking once at night for a 7 week old, but uninterrupted sleep is sooooooooooooo nice. I want it back! :-) Ah well, we'll just hope and pray for that wonderful phenomenon to return to us!

Here's a new photo. He's getting very good at holding up his head. It won't be long before he's "officially" holding up his head. :-)

...I would get this much sleep every night!

2008-08-14T07:52:00.002-04:00

Well, M slept through the night for the first time. :-) He slept 7 hours once before, but it was not through the night and he ended up waking up in the middle anyway. Well, not last night! I put him down around 10:30 and he didn't wake until 6:45! Holy crap! I couldn't believe it! My little trooper slept through the night at just 6 weeks old!

So now that I've written this I'm sure it won't happen again until he's 15 years old...but I couldn't resist. I'm so proud of him! He is now dozing in his Bobby pillow. I swear I have the most adorable, amazing, genius child on the planet, but don't we all? :-) So keep your fingers crossed for another night of uninterrupted sleep!

...there wouldn't be so many options for so many things!

2008-08-11T11:11:00.003-04:00

So as I change diaper after diaper I start to feel guilty about how long it's going to take them to biodegrade. I know, I sound like a tree-hugger. It's true though. I took out the garbage from the nursery (pee diapers only) and it was an entire bag FULL of them...and that was just from one week! Do you know how many that is? A TON! There's also that small detail called money. A pack of 36 diapers for this past weekend at the lake cost us $11. A larger pack is $20. You add that up over time and that's a TON of money too.

So gone are the days of cloth diapers with scary pins. They now have these awesome diapers that don't require a waterproof cover and you don't have to worry about sticking the baby with the pin when diapering him. They *look* super easy and very similar to the disposable ones, only you wash them in the washer. So B and I are thinking about switching over. We're doing our research now to see if it's something we're interested in.

It's a big investment up front, like $500. But that will last until he's potty-trained. These new, awesome diapers grow with the baby so you don't have to buy over and over again. Plus, we'd spend way more than that over time on disposables. The trouble is that there are so many different kinds...and so much to learn about how to clean them and take care of them. We can't decide if it's worth it or if we'd get sick of doing it after investing all the money.

Ugh. It's such a tough decision. One that we're going to chew on for a while. I think part of me feels like since I couldn't breastfeed him maybe I should do my part to take care of his world for when I'm gone. I don't know...maybe I'm crazy. Hell, we know I'm crazy...maybe I'm certifiable. :-)

New pic of M...after his bath when we got home from the lake. He was covered in sunscreen and sour milk that had drained down his neck and gotten on his hands. He smelled HORRID. He was sooooooooo happy to finally be clean!

...everyday would feel as amazing as 6/27/08.

2008-08-07T16:07:00.003-04:00

So our close friends, Crum & Teresa, sent us a text message that told us Teresa was in the hospital being induced. I'm obviously excited because M and Deacon (their name last I heard) will only be 6 weeks apart. Well, I was very surprised at how all the emotions I felt the evening I was being induced came flooding back to me when I heard she was being induced. All the feelings of excitement, anticipation, being scared, knowing my life was going to change forever, and a bit of sadness that so many people we love weren't going to be there to share it (for one reason or another).

Then Crum let me know she was having a c-section because of a lack of progress. Then all those emotions flooded me. I felt the need to ease her nerves...although I couldn't b/c we're not there and nothing eases your nerves except hearing that baby cry. The c-section was the scariest thing I've ever had to go through and yet the most amazing 5 minutes of my life. I will never forget how I felt (and didn't feel) laying on that operating table. I couldn't stop the tears. I was overwhelmed with happiness, relief, and love. Seeing the look on B's face was worth all the hard work we went through up to that point.

I fell in love all over again with B and in love with M.

Oh and I have developed an obsession for photographing my little man. Here's the latest:

...it wouldn't feel so weird to protect.

2008-08-06T15:06:00.003-04:00

Well, we're not ready for another baby. We don't have any desire to be the people who have 2 under 2. At my 6 week appointment yesterday my OB asked if I had thought about birth control. Well, honestly we figured condoms would be plenty given what we went through to get here. She made it very clear that since it only took Metformin to get my body working like it should we should probably be using some form of contraception if we aren't planning on having another quickly. Well, she asked what we were doing before I got pregnant and I told her nothing...we couldn't get pregnant. She said "Oh yeah, you went through infertility."

So I have to admit that going back on a birth control pill feels quite odd. It's been YEARS since I was on one and I felt so young again going to the pharmacy to have my Rx filled. The good news is that since I have been off it so long they have come out with a generic of the pill that worked best for me...so instead of my co-pay it's just $9. Woohoo!

Oh yeah, and I took a 5 week pic of M. He's so darn cute it hurts. :-) Enjoy!

...everyone who has a baby would own a Miracle Blanket!

2008-08-01T08:28:00.003-04:00

Not to sound like an advertisement, but seriously if you have a baby and don't own a Miracle Blanket you need to RUN, not walk, to the store to buy one! I was hesitant because they're $30 and I already had other swaddle blankets. I figured if they don't work why will another one? Well, I have gone over to the darkside.

In an effort to get him out of our bed and to sleep in the pack-n-play or his crib I bought one on our pediatrician's recommendation. Well, I expected it to take him a few days to get used to it. Nope. Last night I put him in it after I fed him so he was kind of sleepy already. I rocked him until I knew he was fast asleep. I laid him in the pack-n-play and he slept great until he was hungry. I changed and fed him and rocked him asleep again. I laid him in the pack-n-play again and he slept for 4 hours.

It was amazing! He slept so good and I got to sleep alone with Brad again. It was truly a miracle! Worth every penny! :-) www.miracleblanket.com for yours! It's like a baby straight jacket that works like a charm to put them to sleep.

...M would know how awesome small victories are!

2008-07-30T08:37:00.003-04:00

First of all, he's losing his hair. :-) His cute little red hair is falling out. What's funny about this is that he's losing it in the same manner that Dr. Phil lost his. So my child, so sweet and little, looks a bit like Dr. Phil. haha. I tried capturing it in a picture, but it doesn't quite show it like it needs to. So you'll just have to take my word for it.

Second, he finally slept in his pack-n-play last night for 2.5 hours! I had some Swaddle Me blankets on hand so I tried one last night. He didn't mind it at all last night, but when I laid him in the pack-n-play he only lasted about 20 minutes and he kept spitting out his pacifier and waking up. So I brought him to bed with us when he got mad. He slept fine as usual with us. Then at his 2nd feeding I brought him to bed with us, but he spit up. So I cleaned him up and took him to the nursery and re-swaddled him and rocked him to sleep without his pacifier. When he was mostly asleep I took him in and laid him in the pack-n-play and he slept for 2.5 hours! I am so excited. I might be on the road to getting my bed back for most nights! Such a small victory, but it feels so huge!

My little man is getting more and more independent. I know he's only a month old, but I honestly can see him gaining more and more independence. It's scary how fast they grow up. We also found that he has started not wanting to be held after his bottles...he'd rather swing. Right now he's sitting in his swing snoozing. It's the sweetest thing I've ever seen. :-)

...this wouldn't have have gone by so fast.

2008-07-25T15:27:00.003-04:00

...I would be a fearless mother.

2008-07-23T12:49:00.002-04:00

Unfortunately that's just not how I operate. I have many fears for my son and my family. I never thought I'd be a clingy Mom or someone who doesn't want to part with my son at all. Well, I'm that Mom...perhaps not clingy...but I don't like for him to go far. My biggest fear as a mother, and I think about it often, is that I won't love him enough. I'm so afraid that I won't give him enough love and support and he'll turn into one of those school shooters or grow up to be an unhappy, insecure child. I know that recognizing the fear is the first step to not allowing it to come true.

But geez...you don't know you've screwed up your children until they're grown up and it's too late. How do you avoid that? How do you know you're doing enough? How do you make sure you're giving them all the love and security they need? Even better, how do you do all of this without spoiling them or making them super clingy babies who won't go to anyone but you?

There should be an instruction manual that comes with babies. I don't understand why they thought it was a good idea to let me take a baby home from the hospital with no instruction manual. I had to do more to get a driver's license than I did to get to take this sweet little child home with me. That just doesn't seem right to me.

...the US would not become a mirror image of 1984.

2008-07-23T12:39:00.002-04:00

So Brad called me today and apparently he found out about some legislation that our genius President has signed off on that requires all babies born in 2008 and after to have their DNA taken, catalouged, and can be used for genetic research. As if THAT weren't bad enough, it is being done with out the consent or even notification of parents.

So yes, my son's DNA is being "warehoused" in some catalouge ready to be used for genetic research and God knows what else. I'm extremely disturbed and very disheartened that the people we elected to make decisions for us have so blatantly neglected our constitutional rights. This is something straight out of a Tom Cruise sci-fi movie. Next thing you know people will be arrested for "think crimes" or crimes that haven't happened yet. Or even worse yet, they will start killing babies that are not genetically "perfect"...can we say Hitler?

That is what our country has come to. The United States vowed to not let the terrorists win, but it looks like that's exactly what has happened. When our country, that was founded on freedom, is taking DNA of our babies without our consent or knowledge we have a serious problem and we are giving the terrorists exactly what they want...we live in fear. The DNA becomes the property of the Homeland Security department.

I'm very sickened by all of this. And people wonder why patriotism is dying...

...this blog would write itself!

2008-07-14T16:25:00.006-04:00

Okay, here's a little update for you folks who keep up with me and our family by way of this bloggerific site.

We have stopped pumping breastmilk and have gone all formula. I tried a couple more times to get M to latch on, but he just wasn't interested, nor did he really quite understand the concept. He gained back all of his weight (not sure if I already posted that), but we haven't weighed him since his last doc appointment so I'm not sure quite how heavy he is now. I can tell that he's gained quite a bit b/c he just feels heavier...but I'm not sure how much heavier he is. The pumping was getting to be such a ball and chain and I was really starting to resent doing it. I was rushing through his feeds so that I could hurry up and pump and get done. It was so daunting. I feel much better now and M seems very happy and content.

He's very strong. He can hold his head up and move it around when he's on his tummy, but he doesn't have full control over it just yet. He's definitely getting there though. When he's in his crib he'll push off the sides with his feet. Mom thinks he'll be rolling over in no time. It's hard to see him as a helpless infant anymore because he's getting so strong. We've seen smiles, but not been smiled at. He's just trying out his smiles for now. His hair appears to be turning red. I'm pretty sure he's gonna look just like his Daddy, which is fine b/c Daddy is quite easy on the eyes. Unfortunately it also looks like he's gonna be pale like Daddy as well...but we can deal with that with tons of sunscreen. :-)

Today the pediatrician called me and told me I needed to take M to the hospital to have some blood drawn b/c apparently they didn't do a couple of screenings at the hospital when he was born. So I took him in and after waiting an HOUR in a waiting room of sick and weird people we go back. He was asleep the whole time until the nurse pricked his foot and started squeezing the blood out. He cried as loud as possible...sounded like someone was killing him...broke my heart of course and then as soon as he started crying when she pricked him he stopped and fell back to sleep. There are two things I learned from this... 1) B is going with me when he gets his shots because there is no reason why Mommy should be the only one to witness such torture and 2) I now know why they draw the blood in the nursery AWAY from the new Mommies when the babies are born...

That's all for now. Here's a pic from yesterday's venture to Louisville. :-) Love the chubby cheeks!! I could kiss them all day!

...babies would come with a handbook.

2008-07-12T11:33:00.001-04:00

M is doing great! He's gaining weight and was back up to birthweight by July 4th. So he's doing fantastic. I haven't weighed him since then, but

...we could've by-passed all the drama.

2008-07-05T14:27:00.004-04:00

Well, the day after M was born his weight dropped to 6 lbs. 8 oz., which is completely normal for a newborn. What isn't normal is for them to lose more than 10% of their body weight. The third day of life his weight dropped to 6 lbs. 4.2 oz. The nurses were concerned at this point and had us start supplementing with formula since he obviously wasn't getting enough to eat...he was also dehydrated at this point. So I continued to try to breastfeed using all kinds of tricks to help us both along. The next day he dropped to 6 lbs. 1 oz. and they weren't sure if they were going to let him go home with us or not.

I was beyond terrified. Not only was I hormonal as heck, but the thought of my brand new baby having to stay over night in a place without me was just heartbreaking. I also felt a TON of guilt for not being able to provide enough nourishment for my baby. I know that it wasn't my fault, but you still can't help but feel that way. Brad was fantastic. He was so supportive and really helped pull me through. At one point I had a nurse trying to show me how to get M to latch on (with no luck) and a lactation consultant (who was a moron) talking to me about breastfeeding and the benefits (as if I didn't already know). M was screaming crying like someone was tearing his arm off and looking at me for help and I was crying the whole time because I couldn't help him. I finally just said "I don't think I can do this anymore. I don't want to." So the nurse stepped out and gave us a minute and the stupid lactation lady gave me a speech about the benefits and that "they" will support me with whatever I choose (like I care if they support me...I'll never see them again).

So we decided that it was in M and my best interest to bottle feed instead of breastfeed. I'm pumping breastmilk so that he gets those nutrients and antibodies, but I just can't handle the actual "art" of breastfeeding. Pumping is tiring, but I know it's best for him so that makes it easier to tolerate at 1am, 3am, 5am and 7am. We were going to supplement with formula if we needed to, but so far I'm producing enough to keep him covered. He's officially back up to his birth weight as of yesterday. So we're really pleased with that and proud of ourselves for making such a quick turnaround. :-)

He's just wonderful and we are soooo in love with him it's ridiculous. We both just sit and study him and watch his different facial expressions while he sleeps. He's so fascinating. Brad has to go back to work on Monday and I know it's going to kill him. Thank God I don't have to go back until September!

...everyone's babies could be this cute.

2008-07-01T09:46:00.003-04:00

M drunk on 1 ounce of formula. :-)

...we could bottle the feelings I felt Friday and sell it.

2008-07-01T09:45:00.001-04:00

So we reported the hospital Thursday night at 9:30. We got settled and they started the Cervadil at 10:30pm. I had to lie flat for 2 hours and then could move around to go the bathroom and what not. I will say, I'm thrilled I got to eat a good dinner because this morning is the first solid food I've eaten since Friday at around 7pm. Popsicles and ice chips...yummy! The Cervadil didn't do too much. It made my back kill me during contractions so I guess I was having tons of back labor. So they gave me Staydol (sp?) for the pain, which really just made me loopy and allowed me to sleep a little bit. I remember thinking to myself after taking it (but not being able to speak it out loud) “My tongue weighs like 700 lbs. this is craziness. Good stuff…

At 6am on 6/27 they came in and started Pitocin. For me this didn’t cause labor to be much worse than it had been with the Cervadil. The contractions did come closer together and slowly got stronger. They checked me every two hours or so and checked to make sure I my contractions were steady. They were a little erratic, but not too bad. They were coming every 1-3 minutes. My OB came in at 8am and broke my water and offered me an epidural. I was going to hold out as long as I could, but after not sleeping hardly at all the night before and with contractions not allowing me to cat nap that day I told them to bring it on. So I got my epidural around 9:30am or so. It was seriously a saving grace. I give special props to anyone who can go through 18 hours of labor naturally.

At 3:30pm my nurse did another internal and said that I was still at 4.5cm. She then informed me that I had been at that same point since 11:30am and that the doctor would probably want to do a c-section. She called the OB and she confirmed. So we got scheduled and went ahead with it. I was terrified…I’ve never had any major surgeries before and actually never been admitted to the hospital for anything either…so I was scared. Brad, my Mom and close cousin were there and they were super supportive and comforting. It was very nice, but honestly didn’t help my anxiety hardly at all…I was flat scared to death.

We went in for the c-section at around 5:30pm. M was born at 5:48pm. Before they pulled him all the way out they told Brad he could stand up and watch him be “delivered” if he wanted. Knowing B I was shocked when he stood up and started snapping photos of him being delivered from my tummy. Then we heard him cry…and that’s when the waterworks started for me. I couldn’t stop crying…I was relieved that he was here, safe, alert, and healthy. It was kind of like all the emotions from all the trying we did all came out at once when he finally came into the world. It was the most amazing, life-changing feeling I’ve ever felt.

...I would know what to expect tomorrow.

2008-06-26T16:39:00.002-04:00

Yes, that's right...induction is happening tomorrow. Went to the doc today and have had zero progress. She said my cervix "might be softer"...but I honestly think she's just being nice. She said we could wait until Tuesday (7/1), but that she really doubts I would have any more progress at that point. I also lost 2.5 pounds so she thinks he might be losing a teeny bit. So we decided to go on with it.

Brad and I report to the hospital tonight at 10pm and they will start Cervadil to soften my cervix and then tomorrow morning they will start the pitocin to start contractions and get my body to dilate. So it's going to be a really LONG couple of days for us...luckily, as my Mom put it, we'll get really awesome consolation prize. :-)

I'm taking my laptop to the hospital with us so we'll have email access and will try to post an update, if we're not too tired, once the baby comes. Woohoo!! We're having a baby tomorrow! I'm scared shitless and thrilled all at the same time. I don't know whether to scream with joy or cry my eyes out. I might just do both.

...people wouldn't have repeat devastation.

2008-06-25T09:48:00.003-04:00

The wife of a co-worker of B's had a miscarriage early last year. It really effected them big time and they were scared to try again for a long time. Well they did eventually try again and they were successful about 15 weeks or so after us. Everything seemed fine and they waited until they were out of the first trimester to announce their pregnancy.

Fast forward to their big ultrasound, which takes place anywhere from 18-22 weeks. They didn't even find out the sex of the baby at the ultrasound because the baby was measuring too small. Apparently it was so small that it was cause for concern. This co-worker and his wife are pretty private about their situation...so Brad doesn't get a lot of detailed information. We never heard anything else about the size of the baby...so we assume they either determined it was okay OR they were just going to play it by ear and let the chips fall where they may.

Fast forward again to 2 weeks go. She began leaking amniotic fluid. The doctors gave them a few different options: 1) Deliver early and lose the baby, 2) Carry the baby to full-term and deliver a stillborn, 3) Strict bedrest hoping to avoid anymore leaking and hold out until they could deliver the baby more safely. She was admitted to the hospital last week and would remain in there until the baby came-whenever that would be.

They ended up having to deliver the baby on Monday night. The baby was a girl, she was too small to survive. She lived about 10 minutes before she lost the fight. I can't imagine how devastated they are. They are really good people and I just can't imagine why they have had to go through these two losses. I honestly can't imagine how I would survive if I lost M at any point in our pregnancy. I can't even empathize with them because it makes my heart hurt too much. I feel like I should do something for them as a fellow human being, but at the same time I think anything coming from someone who is carrying a full-term baby would be very hard to take for them.

So please keep them in your thoughts and prayers...they're going to need help to get through this and come out stronger in the end.